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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 






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MEMORIES. OF LOTTIE. 



BY A PASTOR. 




PUBLISHED BY THE 
AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY, 

150 NASSAU-STREET, NEW YORK. 



^U C - P'/if^J 






Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1863, by the 
American Tract Society, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court 
of the Southern District of the State of Mew York. 



2- l"Tf ' 



\ 



CONTENTS. 



Introduction - 7 

1. Lottie's first letter - 9 

4 ' Afraid of ridicule " 11 

2. Lottie's letter ------- 13 

"I once thought I was a Christian ' ' 15 

3. Lottie's letter 16 

" Knowing, yet not feeling ' ' 17 

1 ' The feeling will come gradually " 17 

4. Lottie's letter 20 

" I hope that I shall remain in this state of mind" 23 

5. Lottie's letter to L - 24 

"I hope I love Him a little" 26 

" I have not told mother " 26 

6. Lottie's letter - 28 

1 ' Two things that make all the trouble " 29 

7. Lottie's letter 31 

"Oh, how hard it is to do right" 31 

8. From Lottie's journal 32 

" Perhaps you love the Saviour " 32 

"Perhaps" 83 

" It is the simplest thing in the world " 34 

9. From Lottie's journal 36 

"It was beautiful" 36 

1 ' It seems as if such things made me better " 37 



4 CONTENTS. 

10. From Lottie's journal 39 

* l The communion season very affecting " 39 

11. Lottie's letter 42 

" To be alone " 42 

12. Lottie's letter 45 

"I have felt sad sometimes of late " 46 

13. From Lottie's journal 47 

"A beautiful sermon" 47 

14. From Lottie's journal - - 48 

"I love her dearly" 48 

15. Lottie's letter 49 

" Do I love my friends too much ?" 51 

16. From Lottie's journal 53 

"An interesting meeting" 53 

17. Lottie's letter — 54 

"I sometimes love to think of Jesus" 55 

18. From Lottie's journal 57 

"I could say Yes to the first" 57 

19. From Lottie's journal 59 

"I hardly dare -say that I hope I have found the 

Saviour" 60 

"Lord, help me to serve thee" 61 

"Let me not be deceived" — 5 - 61 

20. From Lottie's journal - 63 

"Every thing is more pleasant since I gave myself 
to Christ" 63 

21. From Lottie's journal 65 

"I feel very badly to-night " 65 



CONTENTS. 5 

22. Lottie's letter 67 

"I wish I was a Christian " 68 

1 1 have resolved over and over again " 69 

14 It seems as if it was of no use to try " 70 

" How I do wish I could see Mr. H " 70 

23. Lottie's letter •- 72 

1 ' I thought I was a Christian " 7c3 

"Father and mother will think it too soon " 74 

24. Lottie's letter to a little class-mate 75 

"A new path in life" 76 

25. Lottie's letter to a class-mate in the Packer Insti- 

tute 77 

1 ' I wish you would give your heart to the Saviour ' ' 78 

26. Lottie's letter to a class-mate 79 

"You must not say •if'-" 80 

27. Lottie's letter to a class-mate 81 

"Sisters in Christ" 81 

28. From Lottie's journal in the revival of 1858 83 

"It was a great effort for them" 84 

29. Lottie's letter to a young convert 86 

" ' Thinking about Christ " 87 

30. Lottie's letter to L 88 

"Have you 'told your mother?" 89 

31. From Lottie's journal 90 

"I could not have him go away" ---- 90 

32. Lottie's letter to Minnie 92 

"Can't you write a letter?" 93 

33. Lottie's letter to Minnie 94 

"Oh to be happy again!" 95 



6 CONTENTS. 

34. Lottie's letter to her late pastor 97 

' ' The most precious text in the Bible M 98 

" Where to look in the Bible" 100 

35. Lottie's letter to L - 102 

"A sinful heart" 104 

36. From Lottie's journal - 105 

"A sweet season " 107 

37. Lottie's letter to L • 109 

" One by one" 109 

38. Lottie's letter Ill 

"Every thing is bright" - 112 

39. Lottie's second letter to her late pastor 114 

40. Lottie's letter to Minnie 117 

"I love Him so much more" 118 

" Nearer to Our Father's house " 119 

41. Lottie's last letter 121 

The last letter---- - - 122 

42. Lottie's sickness and death 124 



INTRODUCTION. 



This book is not a biography. It is simply 
a memorial. No attempt has been made to 
narrate the life, or to analyze and portray the 
character of the interesting child who is the 
subject of it. "We have had many interesting 
biographies of Christian children ; but it was 
thought that it might be well to permit the 
experience of such a child to record itself in 
its own unaltered words, as in this volume — 
to make its own statements, to describe its 
own thoughts and feelings, trials and joys. 
It is not often that one so young as Lottie 
writes so frankly and so fully concerning her 
inner life ; therefore these letters and jour- 
nals have a peculiar interest and value. 

Lottie's pen may bring some Christian 
parents nearer to their children, and guide 
and aid them in their instruction. And it 
may comfort and incite some children who 



8 INTRODUCTION. 

are seeking early the light and love of God. 
The comments of the author have been scru- 
pulously subjected to the guidance of Lottie's 
own writings. 

It is not necessary to state any other bio- 
graphical facts than these : Lottie was born 
on the 9th of June, 1845, and died on the 
14th of October, 1858. Not only was she 
from her earliest infancy given in prayer and 
faith to God, but she was educated for him. 
She had every advantage in a Christian home, 
in the church with a faithful and beloved 
pastor, and in the Sabbath-school. These 
are the only essential facts. Others will be 
sufficiently developed in her correspondence 
and journal. 

If this little volume shall accomplish any 
thing in stimulating or in aiding Christian 
parents, or in guiding and instructing the 
young, that Christian household where Lot- 
tie's name and memory are most tenderly 
cherished will have new joy in their sorrow, 
and the author will be abundantly rewarded. 

New York, March 15, 1863. 



MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



1. LOTTIE'S FIRST LETTER.* 

Brooklyn, June 5, 1856. 

My deak Sister Sarah — I wrote to you 
yesterday, but it was done with pencil, and I 
had more to say to you than that paper could 
hold. I will send that also, for fear you 
might think that I will leave something out 
that was in it. Something has troubled me 
very much lately. I have got a scrap, and 
the name of it is, " Why am I not a Chris- 
tian ?" There are questions, and threats and 
promises as answers. The first question is. 
"Is it because I am afraid of ridicule?" 
Then it says that whosoever is ashamed of 
Christ, He will be ashamed of them. I'm 

* This is the earliest of Lottie's letters which has 
been preserved. It was written when she was not 
quite eleven years of age. 



10 MEMOKIES OF LOTTIE. 

afraid that that hinders me from being a 
Christian. 

Yesterday I began to write to yon in 
school, and one of the girls was very curious 
to know what it was about ; so she took the 
opportunity to take a look ; and I believe she 
saw the words, " Ashamed of Jesus." When 
I found it out, I felt the blood rush to my 
face with shame. I suppose if I was a real 
Christian I should not feel so. I have prayed 
that I might overcome the fear of ridicule, but 
have not yet succeeded. I thought perhaps 
you could tell me something that would help 
me to overcome that fear of ridicule. I ex- 
pect you think that I ought not to talk so 
about being a Christian, without trying 
harder than I do; and I will try harder, if 
only for your sake I had almost said, but I 
should say for the sake of Him who " gath- 
ers the lambs in his arms, and carries them 
in his bosom." 

I hope you will not think I am looking too 
far forward to the future, if I say that if I 
should join the church, it would get to the 
ears of the school-girls, and I should be made 
fun of. It would be a hard trial ; but be sure 



FEAR OF RIDICULE. 11 

and answer this question : " If I ivas a real 
Christian, should I feel so about being ridi- 
culed?" 

With much love, your sister 

LOTTIE. 

"AFRAID OF RIDICULE." 

To be afraid of ridicule and to be ashamed 
of Jesus are not necessarily the same thing. 
There are some sensitive, timid natures that 
are always afraid of the laugh or the jeer; 
while at the same time they do not yield to 
their fears, but go straight forward in the 
path of duty. They are not ashamed of Je- 
sus ; they love him and rejoice in him, but 
instinctively tremble at the very thought of 
ridicule. Our Saviour does not require us to 
be willing to be ridiculed, but only to be will- 
ing to serve him, whatever we may fear, and 
whatever men may say or do. 

Lottie asks, "If I was a real Christian, 
should I feel so about being ridiculed?" A 
real Christian might have such feelings, but 
she would not yield to them; or if she did 
for a time yield to them, as did Peter, like 
him she would repent of her sin and forsake 



12 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

it. To have such feelings is a temptation of 
Satan : to cherish and indulge them is sin ; 
to resist and overcome them is a real Chris- 
tian triumph. There are some who are really 
ashamed of Jesus. How strange this must 
seem to angels ; and to God, how presumptu- 
ous. 

Ashamed of Jesus, that dear Friend 
On whom my hopes of heaven depend? 
No : when I blush, be this my shame, 
That I no more revere his name. 



THE GREAT QUESTION. 13 

2. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



Sabbath Evening, March 15, 1857. 

Dearest Sarah — I do not remember ask- 
ing you any questions in my last letter. I 
said that I once thought I was a Christian. 

that I could think so now ! I said that I 
would tell you the particulars some other 
time : I will do so now. Last year about the 
holidays we had a day set apart for fasting 
and prayer in our church. I went to meet- 
ing with J in the evening ; mother did 

not go. As I was coming out of the church, 

Mrs. H and J were a little ahead 

of me. I was running to catch up to them, 

when I met Mr. H . He spoke to me, 

and asked me if I was going to serve the 
Lord with all my might, and if I would not 
love to be a Christian better than any thing 
else in the world. 

I could not get rid of the thought. The 
next morning when I sat down to my lessons, 

1 felt as if I could not study. I went away 
alone, and thought over it and prayed over 
it. I did not know what it was to be a Chris- 



14 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

tian, and I could not rest till I was one. At 
last I thought of a little piece I had, illustrat- 
ing what it was to be a Christian. It said 
that to give the heart to God was to love him. 
I thought to myself how easy it was to love 
him. I then went and prayed God to make 
me a lamb of his flock, and arose from my 
knees happy. It seemed as if I was perfectly 
ready to die, and to go to sleep in his bosom. 
I felt very happy for a time, but it gradually 
wore off. 

Write to me soon, and tell me what to do ; 
talk about the blessings or cursings in an- 
other world, and describe the happiness of 
the Christian in this and another world. May 
we meet in heaven, dear sister, never to part 
again, but to rejoice in Christ our blessed 
Saviour for ever and ever. Pray for this, 
dear Sarah, and remember me daily in your 
prayers. Let me think every night that the 
recording angel is taking up prayers for a 
lost sheep wishing to return to the fold — 
taking them up from a much loved sister. 
"Write to me soon, dear Sarah. Pray for me. 

LOTTIE. 

Oh, pray for me ! 



TRUST IN FEELINGS. 15 

"I ONCE THOUGHT I WAS A CHRISTIAN." 

Perhaps she was a Christian at the time of 
which she wrote, but trusted too much in her 
feelings, and not enough in Christ. She says, 
" It seemed to me as if I was perfectly ready 
to die." " I felt very happy for a time, but it 
wore off." Such feelings are not of themselves 
sufficient evidences of piety ; and as Lottie 
perhaps made too much of them, depending 
on them as if they were such evidences, it 
may have been necessary that they should be 
taken away from her. She must learn that 
only such a faith and love as lead the soul to 
resist sin, to fight against temptation, and to 
strive to do the will of Christ, could give her 
the true evidence that her heart had been 
changed. When Jesus finds a young Chris- 
tian trusting too much in her happiness, he 
may take that happiness away. It is often a 
long while before a young Christian learns to 
keep steadily on, trusting in Christ and try- 
ing to serve him whether joyful or sad. But 
we shall see more of this. 



16 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



3. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



April 6, 1857. 

My dear Sister Sarah — I just wish to 
write a few lines to you. Can a sinner be 
converted before he fully feels his need of 
Christ ? In your last letter but one you said 
that Jesus wishes me to come to him just as 
I am. Now I might come to him knowing, 
yet not feeling my need of him ; resolving to 
be his, not in my own strength, but in his. 
"Would he receive me? I cannot make my- 
self feel my need of him ; if I could, I would. 
But I suppose that if I come to him and ask 
him to make me feel it, he would. I suppose 
the feeling will come gradually, will it not, 
dear Sarah? Do answer me before you go 
into the country. Do it very soon. I wish 
an answer to these questions. 

Perhaps J and I will come to A 

street Friday afternoon. If you can, write 
to me, and slip the letter in my hand when 
we come there. With love I remain your 
true friend and sister, 

LOTTIE. 



TRUST IN FEELINGS. 17 

KNOWING, YET NOT FEELING. 

" I might come to Him hnowing, yet not 
feeling my need of liim ; resolving to be his, 
not in my own strength, but in his. Would 
he receive me ?" It is not the degree of feel- 
ing we have in coming to Christ that can 
help or save lis, but only his grace. We ought 
indeed to feel deeply our sins, but instead of 
delaying, in order to work upon our feelings, 
we should come directly to him. Perhaps 
Lottie thought if she could make herself feel 
very deeply, she could bring that feeling to 
Christ as if it would be worth a great deal 
to him. But Christ wanted her — her love and 
faith, and not her feelings. 

"THE FEELING WILL COME GRADUALLY." 

There is a great difference among Chris- 
tians in this respect. Some have at first a 
great deal more of feeling than others. Some 
are overwhelmed at first, and some are very 
calm and quiet when they are brought to see 
their sins and to seek Christ. And it is al- 
ways true that the feeling of our need of 
Christ grows gradually stronger and stron- 

Mem. of Lottie. 2 



18 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

ger the longer we live in his service. The 
soul must feel enough to accept of Christ as 
its Saviour and its all ; this is the only meas- 
ure that can be given. 

I find these lines in Lottie's scrap-book; 
and if in the spirit of them she had thought 
more of Christ and less of her feelings, she 
would not have been so troubled. 



"CHKIST IS ALL, AND IN ALL. 
Colossians 3:11. 

Jesus, my Saviour, look on me, 

For I am weary and oppressed ; 
I come to cast my soul on thee ; 
Thou art my rest. 

Look down on me, for I am weak, 

I feel the toilsome journey's length ; 
Thine aid omnipotent I seek, 

Thou art my strength. 

I am bewildered on my way, 

Dark and tempestuous is the night ; 

shed thou forth some cheering ray ; 

Thou art my light. 

1 hear the storms around me rise ; 

But when I dread th' impending shock, 
My spirit to her refuge flies ; 
Thou art my rock. 






CHRIST IS ALL. 19 

When the accuser flings his darts, 

I look to thee ; my terrors cease : 
Thy cross a hiding-place imparts ; 
Thou art my peace. 

Standing alone on Jordan's brink, 
In that tremendous latest strife, 
Thou wilt not suffer me to sink ; 
Thou art my life. 

Thou wilt my every want supply, 
E'en to the end, whate'er befall; 
Through life, in death, eternally, 
Thou art my all. 



20 MEMOEIES OF LOTTIE. 



4. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



June 1, 1857. 
Oh Sarah, Sarah, will He, can He ever for- 
give me ? I feel dreadfully. I am too wick- 
ed to be forgiven. I do not deserve his notice 
for one single moment. I deserve to die now, 
and never see his face. I am too wicked to 
go to heaven. Ten thousand years of good 
deeds cannot make amends for nearly twelve 
years of wickedness. What shall I do ? May 
God help me. O Lord, cast me not away in 
thine anger; hide not thy face from me in 
thy hot displeasure. Make me thine this 
hour, this moment, if it be possible to for- 
give my dreadful sins. Sarah, darling, will 
he make me love him ? The hymn says, 

The moment a sinner believes, 
And trusts in a crucified God, 

His pardon at once he receives, 

Eedemption in full through his blood. 

God, make me thine. If I know my heart, 

1 am truly sorry for my sins, and am resolved 
to turn away from them. Please help me, 



TWELVE YEARS OF SIN. 21 

and make me love thee. The verse above 
says, "The moment a sinner believes," his 
sins are pardoned. Do you think this is 
true? Do you think mine are forgiven? I 
can hardly say yes, or no. I feel better than 
when I began to write. If they are not now, 
I hope they will be before you see me next 
Saturday. He has said, "I love them that 
love me, and those that seek me early shall 
find me." True, twelve years is a great while 
to live in sin ; but he will forgive me now. I 
am not too old yet ; am I, darling ? Oh, 
Sarah, that you were here this moment. I 
hope that I shall remain in this state of mind 
until I get an answer to these questions; I 
should rather say, until I become a Chris- 
tian. Sarah, how can I become a Christian ? 
I cannot be till He makes me. I will do all 
that I can. If I do all that I can, he will 
help me to do the rest ; will he not ? Dar- 
ling, I will try from this moment. I am in 
his hands. I dare not say that I am his, but 
I will try to be. I hope to be able to tell 
you, when you come here on Saturday, that 

I hope I love him. I suppose J and 

F will sleep together, and you and I, so 



22 MEMOBIES OF LOTTIE. 

we can talk about this. I had a few precious 
letters from you, and I burnt them up, for 
fear some one would see them. I am so very 
sorry now that I did. I will not tear any 
more of them up. I have a little box that 
has a lock and key to it, in which I can put 
them. It has one precious epistle in it now, 
the last you wrote me. I am going to keep 
all my private letters from you in there. 

"We will have such a delightful time if you 
come. I will learn all my lessons on Friday, 
and practise two hours, so that I shall not 
have that to do on Saturday. I am afraid 
that the letter I spoke of is lonely, and I 
should like to have a great many compan- 
ions for it of its own kind. I have a great 
deal to ask you, and a great deal to tell you, 
when you come here. I have a great favor 
to ask of you. You must not say any thing 
about it though, for it is private. I am not 
going to tell you what it is till Saturday night, 

when we are alone. If you and F come 

here Saturday, I guess we will go to " Green- 
wood." "When you come here, I am going 
on my knees to you to ask pardon for some- 
thing that I did. J wanted to see the 



STATES OF MIND. 23 

last letter that you wrote me, and I told her 
that you said not to show it to any one. 
Then she said you would not care if she saw 
it, so I let her. 

LOTTIE. 

"I HOPE THAT I SHALL REMAIN IN THIS 
STATE OF MIND." 

In this very interesting letter, you see that 
Lottie had at last something of that feeling 
which she had so desired. But you can also 
see how she clung to it, and watched it, fear- 
ing that she should not "remain in that state 
of mind." It would seem that she should 
have thought less about her state of mind, 
and more about her Saviour. The verse she 
quoted is true. The sinner has but to believe 
in Christ, and then she is at once and fully 
pardoned. " Come now, and let us reason 
together, saith the Lord : though your sins 
be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; 
though they be red like crimson, they shall 
be as wool." Isa. 1 : 18. " Him that com- 
eth to me I will in no wise cast out." John 
6:37. 



24 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



5. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO L- 



Brooklyn, June 6, 1857. 
I sit down to write to you, darling L- 



with a feeling of more love than I have ever 

felt for yon. Oh, dear L , I hardly dare 

trust myself to say what I am about to say. 
I hope I love Him a little. He is so sweet 
and lovely. I don't mean to have you think 
that I am really a Christian, only that I hope 
he is beginning to show me his loveliness. 
Do not get a wrong impression of any 
thing. 

Oh now I think the reason why I love you 
so much more is, because I want you to seek 

the Saviour with me. Do let us, L . 

They say that those who seek the Redeemer 
together are bound by a love deeper, Oh how 
much deeper, than the ties between us are. . . . 
I cannot find words to express my feelings. 
Do let us seek the Saviour. I cannot bear 
to leave you behind. Wednesday evening I 



A FAINT HOPE. 25 

began to feel that I was a sinner, and it 
increased. O Jesus, please teach me the 
way. 

I do wish to see you so much. I have so 
many things to say and to show you. I have 

a little book and a letter that S wrote to 

me, that I think will help you very much. I 
do not know what I should have done with- 
out them, now that I have no sister S to 

talk to. Oh I miss her so much. I have not 
told mother, nor any one but you, how I feel 
now. Once I did with great difficulty speak 

to J . Oh I do wish I could see S . 

Do come here next Sunday, if you can. The 
hot weather will soon be here, and we shall 
be away in the country. To-morrow will be 
our communion Sabbath ; the Sabbath after, 

Mr. H preaches to the children. He 

always does it so well. "We had a beautiful 
sermon the last time, from the text, "Re- 
member now thy Creator in the days of thy 
youth." I wish you could have heard it. . . . 
Good-by. Hoping to see you Saturday, I 
remain your ever affectionate 

LOTTIE. 



26 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

"I HOPE I LOVE HIM A LITTLE.'' 

One evidence that Lottie did love her Sav- 
iour, was her increased love for this play- 
mate, and her increased desire for her con- 
version. Yet she would not have her young- 
friend think her " really a Christian." If she 
loved Jesus even " a little," she did not hate 
him at all. Then her heart had been changed ; 
for the heart unchanged is " enmity against 
God." And so, though her love was little, 
she was " really a Christian." Love is always 
" little " in its beginning, as the stream is lit- 
tle at the first ; but it grows as it flows on ; 
it widens and deepens ; the showers of heav- 
en increase it, the springs of earth enlarge 
it ; and so it grows. Beginnings are always 
small. A drop begins a river. 

"I HAVE NOT TOLD MOTHER." 

My young friend, have you told your moth- 
er how you think and feel concerning Jesus ? 
Lottie had a Christian mother whom she 
dearly loved, and yet she did not tell that 
mother, who would have been so glad to 
know her thoughts and feelings. This is a 
very common error. Go and tell your moth- 



A MOTHER'S LOVE. 27 

er all your heart. It will do you good to 
make the effort. It may relieve you and 
strengthen you very much. No one on earth 
loves you so dearly. No one has prayed for 
you so much. No one will try so hard to 
help you. Tou see in the following note, 
which Lottie wrote a few days after the 
above, that she was troubled because she 
had not spoken to her mother. 



28 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



6. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



July, 1857. 

No, dear Sarah, no, not ashamed to own 
Him ; not that at all. You know that persons 
sometimes do not feel as free with their par- 
ents and near relatives as they do with those 
who are not related to them. So it is with 

me. I can speak to J a great deal easier 

than I can to mother. I think I ought to 
speak to one of them. It is the hardest 
thing I have ever felt to be my duty ; yet I 
will try to speak to J . 

Sabbath Evening. — Oh, Sarah, I wish you 
could have been at our prayer-meeting yes- 
terday morning. I think it was the best 
meeting I have attended for a long time. A 
converted boy, who looked as if he was about 
fourteen years of age, spoke. It was just as 
still — you could have heard a pin drop. Since 
I got your last letter, I have been more troub- 
led about my own soul than I ever was be- 
fore. I have been striving this morning to 
obtain pardon for my sins. I have a little 
book, called "A Pastor's Manual.'' I read it, 



TKOUBLOUS THOUGHTS. 29 

and there is a piece called "Knowledge of 
Pardon, or Witness of the Spirit." There 
are two things in it that make all the trouble : 
"If you see your best deeds to be sinful;" 
and, " If you see Christ in every way per- 
fectly lovely." There is a great deal more 
trouble with the latter than with the former. 
I must strive to do every thing to please 
Christ, and pray unceasingly that he will 
show me my sinfulness more, and make me 
love him more. 

' 'TWO THINGS THAT MAKE ALL THE 
TEOUBLE." 

Lottie had been reading a book which 
troubled her. It was not the Bible. It was 
a book intended for older Christians. She, a 
little girl only twelve years old, would not 
have tried to wear a woman's dress. But 
she tried to make a book fit her case which 
was intended not for a child, but for people 
much older and wiser than herself. Children 
often make this mistake. But what are the 
"two things that make all the trouble?" 
They are thoughts of sin, and thoughts of 
.Christ. 

Thoughts of sin. The young Christian will 



30 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

have such thoughts of her sins as will trouble 
her. She will feel more and more her guilt, 
the more she knows her own heart. 

Thoughts of Christ. Thoughts of our sins 
should always lead us to think of Christ — of 
wiiat he has done and suffered for the pardon 
and salvation of sinners. The young Chris- 
tian is often troubled because her thoughts 
of Christ are not such as she would have 
them. But does not this very anxiety show 
that there is love for Jesus in the heart thus 
troubled? It is with those who feel their 
unworthiness and their need of Jesus that he 
loves to dwell. I find these lines in Lottie's 
scrap-book : 

Thy home is with the humble, Lord: 

The simplest are the best ; 
Thy lodging is in child-like hearts ; 

Thou makest there thy rest. 

Dear Comforter, eternal Love, 

If thou wilt stay with me, 
Of lowly thoughts and simple ways 

I '11 build a house for thee. 

Who made this beating heart of mine 
But thou, my heavenly Guest ? 

Let naught else have it then but thee, 
And let it be thy rest. 



DOING RIGHT. 31 



7. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



Monday Evening, July 13, 1857. 

'T is a beautiful evening. J has gone 

to Tarrytown to-day. I've been trying to 
do right to-day. Oh, how hard it is ! Two 
or three times I came near giving way to my 
temper. I hope my sins are partly forgiven ; 
at least some of them. I 'm very, very sorry 
for them, and am resolved to do better. 

LOTTIE. 

"OH, HOW HARD IT IS TO DO RIGHT." 

Lottie began that 13th day of July, deter- 
mined that she would resist temptation and 
be very good. She did not succeed very 
well. When we make such efforts in our 
own strength we fail ; and such failures 
should lead us to depend more entirely on 
the Saviour. He lets us learn how weak we 
are, that we may turn to him and find how 
strong he is. 



32 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

8. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



July 21, 1857.— We have had Mr. and 

Mrs. H , A; , F , and W , a 

missionary lady and her son here to supper. 
I had a very pleasant call this morning, 

when I went to invite the H s. Mrs. 

H , when speaking about B 's becom- 
ing a minister, said she thought mother was 
very much blessed in her children, having 
two of them pious. "And perhaps, Lottie, 
you love the Saviour. There are some peo- 
ple who are very much troubled because they 
do not know how to come to him. It is the 
simplest thing in the world. Just yield your- 
self to him, saying, 

" Here, Lord, I give myself away, 
'T is all that I can do. 

All the fitness He requireth, 
Is to feel your need of Him." 

Oh she did talk so sweetly. 

"PERHAPS YOU LOVE THE SAVIOUR." 

"We think she did ; but to love him is to 
be a Christian. Think of it a moment. Je- 
sus loves you more than any one else can. 



UNCERTAINTY. 33 

He has done and suffered more for you than 
any one else can. And he is infinitely lovely. 
Take these three facts, and see if each of 
them does not seem to say you ought to love 
Jesus. Can you not make the language of 
this little verse your own ? 

Jesus, thy boundless love to me 
No thought can reach, no tongue declare : 

Unite my thankful heart to thee, 
And reign without a rival there. 

"TEKHAPS." 

There is some uncertainty about it. Per- 
haps you do not love the Saviour, though you 
think you do. You should be very careful 
not to be mistaken, for your everlasting hap- 
piness is concerned. Children often think 
they love Jesus when they are mistaken. 
They love to hear the story of what he did 
and suffered while he was on earth; they 
love to hear about his great goodness, and 
about his kindness to little children. But 
they do not think how he hates sin, just such 
sin as they have in their own hearts. They 
do not try to please Jesus ; they do not feel 
so sorry for their sins as to try earnestly to 
be like Jesus ; they do not hate their sins 

Mem. of Lottie. 3 



34 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

because they are hateful to Jesus ; and so it 
is evident they do not love him. The heart 
that does not hate its own sins, has not been 
changed. "Perhaps you do not love the Sav- 
iour." 

"IT IS THE SIMPLEST THING IN THE WORLD." 

What is the simplest thing in the world ? 
"Why, this which is necessary to salvation — 
to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ; that is, " to 
come to Christ." WTien your mother calls 
you, you know what it is to come to her ; 
you obey her, trust her, love her. And why 
not obey and trust and love Jesus ? If you 
were drowning, it would be the simplest 
thing in the world to trust and lay hold of 
the hand, or seize the rope extended to you. 
God tells you that unless you believe, or lay 
hold upon Christ, you must perish. You be- 
lieve the physician when you are sick ; that 
is, you trust yourself with him, and do exact- 
ly what he tells you to do. Your soul is dis- 
eased ; sin is destroying it. Jesus Christ is 
the only physician who can cure and save it : 
believe him, and he will do it. Trust your 
life in his hands, and do exactly as he tells 



COMING TO CHRIST. 35 

you to do. Will you learn this beautiful 

hymn, if you do not know it already, and 

repeat it to Jesus ? Ask the blessed Spirit 

to help you to repeat it with sincerity of 

heart. 

Just as I am — without one plea, 
But that thy blood was shed for me, 
And that thou bid'st me come to thee, 
Lamb of God, I come. 

Just as I am — and waiting not 
To rid my soul of one dark blot — 
To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot, 
Lamb of God, I come. 

Just as I am, though tossed about 
With many a conflict, many a doubt — 
With fears within, and foes without — 
Lamb of God, I come. 

Just as I am — poor, wretched, blind : 
Sight, riches, healing of the mind, 
Yea, all I need, in thee to find, 

Lamb of God, I come. 

Just as I am, thou wilt receive, 

Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve ; 

Because thy promise I believe, 

Lamb of God, I come. 

Just as I am — thy love unknown 
Has broken every barrier down : 
Now to be thine, yea, thine alone, 

Lamb of God, I come. 



36 MEMOBIES OF LOTTIE. 



9. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Satukday, July 25, 1857. — J and I 

went to L D 's to see the sun set. It 

was beautiful. It seems as if such things 
made me better. They make me think of 
heaven, and feel so calm and quiet. 

"IT WAS BEAUTIFUL." 

How dear to me the hour when daylight dies, 
And sunbeams melt along the silent sea. 

God has so adorned the world, as if intend- 
ing that we should see and enjoy the beauti- 
ful in earth, sea, and air. Some children do 
not appear to see how much there is on every 
side of them to admire. In every insect, in 
every flower, in every water-drop you may 
see something to enjoy, something to teach 
you of the wisdom and goodness of the great 
Creator. God loves the beautiful, or he 
would not have made such a world. Chil- 
dren lose a great deal of enjoyment by not 
keeping their eyes open. Lottie lived in the 



BEAUTY OF CREATION. 31 

city where she could not see so many of the 
beautiful things which God has made as are 
to be seen everywhere in the country. But 

she went to L D 's on purpose to see 

the sun set. And I like her for it. I don't 
believe that any of us think as much as 
we should of the beautiful things in nature. 
Jesus loved the flowers : do you remember 
what he said about the lilies ? " Even Solo- 
mon in all his glory was not arrayed like one 
of these." We ought to see more, when God 
has filled our world so full of beauty. 

Thou who hast given me eyes to see, 

And love this sight so fair, 
Give me a heart to find out thee, 

And read thee everywhere. 

"IT SEEMS AS IE SUCH THINGS MADE ME 
BETTER." 

They ought to make you better, and there- 
fore happier. But some who look at and 
enjoy the beautiful things which God has 
created, for us, think they are made better 
when they are not. A beautiful sunset is 
very likely to make any one, who really en- 
joys it, " think of heaven and feel calm and 
quiet;" but this may be only a feeling* of 



38 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

natural taste, and which will soon disappear. 
There may be no religion in it. But I think 
Lottie enjoyed that sunset as a Christian 
should; and I think such beautiful things 
do make those who love the Saviour, better. 
" They make us think of heaven." We ask, 
If this world, where sin and sorrow are, is so 
beautiful, what must heaven be ? 

Since o'er thy footstool here below 
Such radiant gems are thrown, 

Oh what magnificence must glow, 
Great God, about thy throne ! 

So brilliant here these drops of light — 

There the full ocean rolls, how bright ! 

The dazzling sun, at noonday hour, 

Forth from his flaming vase 
Flinging o'er earth his golden shower, 

Till vale and mountain blaze, 
But shows, Lord, one beam of thine ; 
What then the day where thou dost shine ? 



COMMUNION SABBATH. 39 



10. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Sabbath Evening, Aug. 2, 1857. — This af- 
ternoon was communion at our church. None 
united. I was so sorry ; it would have en- 
couraged Mr. H — — . It was very affecting ; 

Mr. H always makes it so. Oh, I do 

want to see Sarah so much. 

"THE COMMUNION SEASON VEKY AFFECT- 
ING." 

What was so affecting? Was it those ten- 
der w r ords, "This do in remembrance of me?" 
They were the words which Jesus spoke to 
us all just before he was crucified for our 
sins. The bread and the wine were there, 
representing the body broken and the blood 
shed for us. In obedience to the command 
of Christ, those who had professed their love 
to him partook of the bread and the wine. 
They did this in remembrance of their cruci- 
fied Saviour. By this solemn act they did 
not profess to believe or trust in themselves 



40 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

or in their own goodness, but only in Christ. 
They professed to have no righteousness of 
their own, but to be sinners, dependent en- 
tirely upon the righteousness of Christ. 
Those who did not partake of the sacrament, 
whatever w^ere the feelings of their hearts, 
did by their act publicly declare that they 
did not love or believe in him. Lottie was 
among those who were separated from the 
followers of Christ, and did not partake of 
the emblems of his death. She felt this sep- 
aration. She could not help being deeply 
affected when she saw those who loved Jesus 
honoring his precious memory, and she felt 
that she was not obeying his tender and sa- 
cred command, " This do in remembrance of 
me."- My dear young friend, do you turn 
away from Christ at the communion-table? 
If you do not love him, this is not a sufficient 
excuse ; for you know that you ought to love 
him and to honor his memory in his appoint- 
ed way. 

Jesus, thy love shall we forget, 

And never bring to mind 
The grace that paid our hopeless debt, 

And bade us pardon find ? 



REMEMBERING CHRIST. 41 

Gethsemane, can we forget 

Thy struggling agony, 
When night lay dark on Olivet, 

And none to watch with thee ? 

Our sorrows and our sins were laid 

On thee, alone on thee : 
Thy precious blood the ransom paid, 

Thine all the glory be. 

Remember thee, and all thy pains 

And all thy love for me ! 
Yes, while a breath, a pulse remains, 

Will I remember thee. 



42 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



11. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



F M , Aug, 10, 1857. 

Well, dear L , so here I am in the 

country as well as you. Yesterday evening 
I came into my room wishing to read and 
pray, as I like to Sabbath evening. But I 
soon went out, for I found it was useless to 
try to be alone when the children were 
around. One of the little folks is in here 
now. She is a little darling. I had an op- 
portunity to talk with her last night about 
being good. She slept with me. 

I am reading the History of Marie Antoi- 
nette. I would advise you to read it, if you 
get the chance; also the History of the Em- 
press Josephine. 

Mother and I send love to you and your 

mother. Write a long letter to me next time. 

Good-by, darling. 

SISTER LOTTIE. 

"TO BE ALONE." 

Lottie would have been glad to be alone 
Sabbath evening, to read and pray. But she 



ALONE WITH GOD. 43 

could not, for the children followed her. She 
took the right course. She tried to do them 
good; and so probably she was more bene- 
fited herself, than if she had been left alone. 
In trying to instruct others, we are instructed 
ourselves. 

Lottie loved to be alone with God. She 
was not lonely, for she loved God. She se- 
lected this poetry for her scrap-book. 

ALONE WITH GOD. 

Alone with God ! day's craven cares 
Have crowded onward unawares ; 
The soul is left to breathe her prayers. 

Alone with God ! I bare my breast ; 
Come in, come in, Oh holy Guest, 
Give rest, thy rest, of rest the best. 

Alone with God ! how calm a calm 
Steals o'er me, sweet as music's balm 
When seraphs sing a seraph's psalm. 

Alone with God ! no human eye 
Is here, with eager looks to pry 
Into the meaning of each sigh. 

Alone with God ! no jealous glare 
Now stings me with its torturing stare ; 
No human malice says, Beware ! 

Alone with God ! from earth's rude crowd, 
With jostling steps, with laughter loud, 
My better soul I need not shroud. 



44 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

Alone with God ! he only knows 

If sorrow's ocean overflows 

The silent spring from whence it rose. 

Alone with God ! he mercy lends ; 
Life's fainting hope, life's meagre ends, 
Life's dwarfing pain he comprehends. 

Alone with God ! he feeleth well 
The soul's pent life that will o'er well, 
The life-long want no words may tell. 

Alone with God ! still nearer bend ; 
tender Father, condescend, 
In this my need, to be my friend. 

Alone with God, with suppliant mien 
Upon thy pitying breast I lean, 
Nor less because thou art unseen. 

Alone with God, safe in thine arms 
shield me from life's wild alarms, 
save me from life's fearful harms. 

Alone with God ! my Father, bless 

With thy celestial promises 

The soul that needs thy tenderness. 

Alone with God ! Oh, sweet to me 
This covert to whose shade I flee, 
To breathe repose in thee, in thee. 



AT HOME AGAIN. 45 



12. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



Tuesday Evening, Aug. 25, 1857. 

Dear Sarah — I received your welcome let- 
ter this evening, and take the opportunity to 
answer it thus early, so as to get an answer 
before you come back. We got home yester- 
day morning, after an absence of about three 
weeks. We had a very pleasant time ; but 
after all, there is no place like home. We are 
all very glad to get back 

I have felt sad sometimes of late, partly 
because I wanted to see my darling Sarah, 
and partly because I am not Christ's. Oh, 
Sarah, I can't tell you how I feel. I want to 
see you so much. Write on that subject next 
time, please. If you can't think of any thing 
to say, I will tell you if it is you that say 
it, 't will do me more good than to hear it a 
hundred times over from some other person. 
Write promises to the penitent, and speak of 
our separation here — but will we meet in 



46 MEMOEIES OF LOTTIE. 

heaven? Ah, that's the thing. Do write 
about that, Sarah. 

"I HAVE FELT SAD SOMETIMES OF LATE." 

She was sad because she feared she was 
not Christ's. I do not think she had reason 
for that fear. But fears come often without 
reason, and without any proper occasion. 
The young Christian is very apt to pass read- 
ily from hope to fear, and from joy to sad- 
ness. And the fear and sadness sometimes 
do them good by compelling them to cling 
more closely to Jesus. 



A BEAUTIFUL SERMON. 47 



13. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Sunday, Oct. 17, 1857.— Mr. H preach- 
ed a beautiful sermon this morning from the 
text, " What shall it profit a man, if he gain 
the whole world, and lose his own soul?" 

"A BEAUTIFUL SERMON. " 

What would you call a beautiful sermon? 
One which was finely written? One which 
contained many beautiful illustrations or in- 
teresting anecdotes? This was not Lottie's 
meaning. The sermon concerning which she 
wrote was a plain and earnest warning to 
impenitent sinners, and an expostulation with 
them concerning their guilt and their danger. 
It was beautiful to Lottie because it was 
adapted to promote that which is in itself a 
glorious thing, that which would thrill the 
hearts of angels with joy, which would honor 
Christ — I mean the salvation of dying souls. 
Is not any sermon in the highest sense beau- 
tiful which is calculated to do this ? 



48 MEMOBIES OF LOTTIE. 



14. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Oct. 21, 1857.— F G says she 

hopes she loves the Saviour. She is a very 
sweet child. I love her dearly. 

"I LOVE HEB DEARLY." 

All through Lottie's journal there are simi- 
lar expressions of special love for thoseamong 
her young friends who were Christians. Her 
ardent attachment to her pastor was likewise 
often and fervently expressed in her journal. 
This love for those who loved Christ is evi- 
dence that Lottie's heart had been changed. 
This is what the Bible calls "brotherly love." 
Heb. 13 : 1. If we truly love the Saviour, we 
have a peculiar affection for those who are 
like him, for those who show that they love 
him. " We know that we have passed from 
death unto life, because we love the brethren." 
1 John 3 : 14. Not that we shall love all 
Christians alike or equally if our hearts are 
really changed; but if we are truly the chil- 
dren of God, we shall love all true believers 
because they are like Jesus. 



A BIftTHDAY LETTER. 49 



15. LOTTIES LETTER. 



Sabbath Evening, Nov. 1, 1857. 
I caknot, darling, allow my much loved sis- 
ter's birthday to pass without writing her a 
note. Father has gone to church, mother 
is on the lounge, not feeling very well, and 

J is writing a letter, while I write to 

you. I said in one of my letters to you some 
time ago that you would soon be fifteen. 
That time has come, and Oh, Sarah, how I 
wish it had not. 'T is true there is no more 
difference in our ages than there ever was ; 
but fifteen seems a great deal older than 
twelve. As you grow older, Sarah, and find 
other companions of your own age, I want 
you to love me just as much as if I were your 
own age. O Sarah, dear, how I wish you 
knew half how much I love you. If you did 
though, you would say, " Lottie, I 'm afraid 
you don't love Jesus enough." You would 
say the truth ; I do not. I have been afraid 
sometimes that God would take away some 



Mem. of Lottie. 



50 MEMOEIES OF LOTTIE. 

of my friends because I loved them better 
than I loved him. But " He is plenteous in 
mercy, and slow to anger." But I cannot 
help loving one who has done me so much 
good. Tou will have your reward most as- 
suredly. I sometimes think of " old times," 
when we lived so near to each other, and 
wish those happy days were back again. I 

remember one afternoon when G and I 

had a little trouble about something, and we 
both got a little angry, you took me up to 
your room, and asked our heavenly Father's 
pardon. 'Tis always so pleasant to think 
of it. Sarah, how I wish I was certain we 
should meet in heaven. I have often dedi- 
cated myself to Him, and asked him to make 
me love him ; and then something would 
come up immediately to irritate me, and 
would unfit me for any thing of the kind. I 
hope I shall soon be able to tell you that we 
are sisters in the truest and best sense of the 
word, sisters in Christ. I have no present 
for you, Sarah, but a heart full of love ; and 
hoping you have had a happy birthday, I 
will bid you good-night. 

SISTER LOTTIE. 



LOYE TO FRIENDS. 51 

"DO I LOVE MY FRIENDS TOO MUCH? 

Did slie loYe Sarah, did she love her friends 
too much ? God does not wish us to love oth- 
ers less, that we may love him more. The 
Father in heaven delights to see his children 
love one another. It is the special, "new 
commandment" of the gospel, that we love 
one another. Lottie loved Sarah because of 
her Christian faithfulness. This was a good 
sign. The heart can love God all the more 
for loving his creatures, and it can love his 
creatures all the more for loving God. If 
our friendships are suck as to draw us away 
from God — if they lead us to forget God, 
then they are wrong, and we are wrong. "We 
must make God our dependence and our joy, 
and then there is no need of fear that we shall 
love any of his creatures too well. 

The young are apt to expect too much 
from their friendships. David said, "My 
soul, wait thou only upon God; for my ex- 
pectation is from him." Psa. 62 : 5. It is a 
grand thing for us to learn to love men as sin- 
ners, not expecting to find any one of them 
an angel; not resting our happiness upon 



52 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

any one of them, but upon God. This would 
save us much disappointment. All of us are 
imperfect, all of us are sinners ; yet God loves 
us. Don't cast off your friends when you 
begin to find that they are sinners, but try 
to do them good; and so they will love you 
more, and you will love them more. You see 
how closely Lottie and Sarah were bound 
together. There are no friendships so en- 
during as those which are the fruit of efforts 
to do good to one another. 

Art thou not thy brother's keeper ? 

Canst thou not his soul obtain ? 
He that wakes his brother sleeper, 

Double light himself shall gain. 

Ah, how many may be given 

To that during, fiery lake, 
Who had found a place in heaven 

Hadst thou toiled for Jesus' sake. 



INTEEEST IN MEETINGS. 53 



16. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Sunday, Nov. 8, 1857. — I have just been to 
meeting; it was very interesting indeed. I 
do hope we shall have a revival in our church. 

"AN INTEEESTING MEETING." 

Here are two more evidences that Lottie's 
heart had been changed. 

She was deeply interested in the meetings 
of the church. She was not inattentive and 
careless, as too many are in such places, but 
could say, "It was very interesting indeed." 
Her heart was in sympathy with what she 
heard. 

She also longed for a revival ; that is, she 
desired that sinners might be converted. She 
loved the souls of men, and this was like 
Christ. If we love the Saviour, then we shall, 
like Lottie, be anxious to have others love 
him too. 



54 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



17. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



Home, Monday Evening, Dec. 1, 1857. 

Dear Sarah — Mother and J have 

gone to Mrs. S 's to sew for the Industrial 

school. Father and B are in N. Y.; 

S and M , the girl and I have been at 

home alone all the evening. I have learned 
my lessons, read my Bible, and now feel more 
like thinking than doing any thing else. I 
thought I would write a letter to my long 
neglected but not forgotten sister. Nearly 
four years have passed away since we sat at 
the same table, a bright, happy New-year's 
morning. It makes me feel sad to think how 
quickly the years are flying. I think it is 
enough to make any one feel sad. But there 
is a pleasure in some kinds of sadness — a 
calm, quiet feeling sometimes steals over me, 
and I find my heart raised to heaven. I 
sometimes love to think of Jesus. O that I 
always did. I have sometimes thought I was 
a Christian ; but again my heart would be- 



THINKING OF JESUS. 55 

come hardened before I knew it, and I would 

be discouraged and say it was of no use to try. 

But now I can't do so, for I have promised 

Mr. H I would try to be a Christian ; and 

yielding to discouragement would be break- 
ing my promise. The night I promised him 
so, I had such a pleasant talk with him. He 
did talk so sweetly to me about giving my 
heart to Christ. I have tried to, but I am 
not happy ; but I am going to try again. Oh, 
is n't it very hard to do right ? Perhaps *I 
tell you too much of my feelings ; but it 
always makes me feel better to have a good 
talk with you, or to write to you. You know 
some things about me which no one else ex- 
cept God knows. Good-night, dear sister. 
From your own 

LOTTIE. 

"I SOMETIMES LOVE TO THINK OF JESUS. M 

How could Lottie, love to think of Jesus 
sometimes, and wish that she always loved 
to think of him, if the love of Jesus were not 
in her heart ? Think of it a moment. Some- 
times perhaps the thoughts of Jesus and of 
heaven fill your heart, and you feel sure that 



56 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

you love him. Then those pleasant thoughts 
leave you for a time. Has the love of Jesus 
left you? There are days when the sun 
shines steadily from dawn till evening; but 
there are other days when the sunlight only 
now and then breaks through the clouds. 
On such days do you believe that the sun is 
really shining only when his beams for a mo- 
ment pierce the clouds? No; but because 
" sometimes" the light breaks through, there- 
fore you believe that the sun is all the time 
shining. Jesus does not expect you to think 
of him all the time — to think only of him. 
This is impossible. If you "sometimes" 
love to think of him, if you long to have such 
thoughts continue with you, then it must be 
that you love him, that your heart has been 
changed ; for the heart unchanged never loves 
to think of Jesus. 

Abide with me : fast falls the eventide, 
The darkness deepens ; Lord, with me abide. 

When other helpers fail and comforts flee, 
Help of the helpless, Oh abide with me ! 

Not a brief glance I ask — a passing word ; 

But as thou dwelPst with thy disciples, Lord, 
Familiar, condescending, patient, free, 

Come, not to sojourn, but to abide with me. 



PKOOFS OF LOVE. 51 



18. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Thursday Evening, Dec. 3, 1857. — To-day 
is fast-day in our church. I could not go to 
church this morning, and I did not go this 
afternoon. I have been this evening, and I 
thank God for it. We had a very pleasant 
meeting indeed. As we were coming out of 
the lecture-room, I happened to be the last 

one except Mr. H . He put his hand on 

my shoulder, and asked me how I was. He 
said, " Are you going to get any good out of 
this day, Lottie?" I said, I hoped so. He 
asked me if I loved to pray, if I loved to 
read the Bible, and if I sometimes felt as if 
I loved Jesus. Oh if I could have said Yes 
to them all! I could to the first. 

"I COULD SAY YES TO THE FIRST." 

If Lottie could truly say Yes to that first 
question, then she might have said Yes to the 
two others also. No one loves to pray who 
does not love Jesus. Do you like to com- 
mune with any one you do not love, and tell 



58 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

her all about your heart? Prayer is com- 
muning with Jesus ; it is opening our heart 
to him. So if Lottie loved to pray, she must 
have loved Jesus. And if she loved to pray 
and loved Jesus, she must have loved the 
Bible too, because it tells of Jesus. It tells 
us what he has done for us, and what he 
would have us do for him ; and besides this, 
it is full of precious promises and encourage- 
ments to prayer. Do you not see that those 
three questions which Mr. H put to Lot- 
tie belong together? No one loves prayer 
without loving the Bible and Jesus ; and no 
one loves the Bible without loving Jesus and 
prayer ; and no one loves Jesus without lov- 
ing the Bible and prayer. 



COMMUNION SABBATH. 59 



19. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Sunday Evening, Dec. 6, 1857. — We had an 
excellent sermon this morning. This after- 
noon was communion. No one united by 
profession ; several did by letter. This 
morning, at the close of his sermon, Mr. 

H said, " There are some who will not 

be with us at the table this afternoon. God 
forbid that I should speak it reproachfully. 
I hope they will be at our next communion 
season. Christ died for you; he died for 
YOU." Then he went on exhorting sinners 
to come to Christ. Oh he is a dear, blessed 
man. I'm afraid I love him too much. I 
hardly dare say that I hope I have found 
the Saviour. I have been trying since that 
blessed Thursday night. I have prayed and 
I have striven, and I hope I can say, 

Jesus, I my cross have taken, 
All to leave and follow thee. 



60 MEMOEIES OF LOTTIE. 

Lord, help me to serve thee, and let me not 
be deceived. 

"I HARDLY DARE SAY THAT I HOPE I HAVE 
FOUND THE SAVIOUR." 

This is a very common feeling with young 
Christians. It seems at first too good to be 
believed, that one has really found Christ; 
and so there is often much hesitancy and 
self-suspicion among those who are really 
Christians. "I have prayed and I have 
striven, and I hope I can say, 

" Jesus, I my cross have taken, 
All to leave and follow thee ; 

but I cannot go farther ; I dare not say that 
I am really a Christian ; that would be say- 
ing so much." And yet Lottie said it all in 
uttering those two lines of the hymn. Often 
young Christians feel such a willingness to 
take up the cross and follow Jesus, or such 
a desire to serve him, some time before dar- 
ing to say, "I hope that I have found the 
Saviour." But whoever is willing to serve 
Christ, will try to serve him ; and whoever, 
in love to him, tries to serve him, is a Chris- 
tian. 



"LORD, HELP ME!" 61 

"LORD, HELP ME TO SERVE THEE." 

This is peculiarly the prayer of the heart 
that has been truly changed. I desire to 
obey thee, to do as thou would' st have me 
do ; I would submit to thy will ; but I can do 
nothing without thy help. It is always an 
encouraging sign to see one feeling and pray- 
ing thus. Paul said, "When I am weak, 
then am I strong." "When I feel that I can- 
not trust my own strength, then I lean on 
God's arm, and am truly strong. Every 
Christian would do well to take Paul's words 
as his motto. 

? T is God the Spirit leads 

In paths before unknown ; 

The work to be performed is ours, 

The strength is all his own. 

< 'LET ME NOT BE DECEIVED." 

There is great danger of being deceived, 
for "the heart is deceitful above all things." 
You may have certain feelings, certain joys, 
which you will think are evidences that you 
are a Christian; and you may trust in them, 
and think all the while that you are trusting 



62 MEMOKIES OF LOTTIE. 

in Christ. Many are thus deceived. But 
Lottie's fear of self-deception showed that 
she was not deceived. Such fear every true 
Christian will have ; and such fear the self- 
deceived do not have. 

Trembling, Lord, I would believe ; 
Let me not myself deceive. 



ALL THINGS NEW. 63 



20. FROM LOTTIES JOURNAL. 



Monday, Dec. 7, 1857. — I have just return- 
ed from Monthly Concert in our church. The 
meeting was very pleasant to me. Every 
thing is more pleasant since I have given 
myself to Christ. 

* 'EVERY THING IS MORE PLEASANT SINCE I 
GAVE MYSELF TO CHRIST." 

These are beautiful words, and as true as 
beautiful. They make one think of what Paul 
said : " If any man be in Christ, he is a new 
creature : old things are passed away ; be- 
hold, all things are become new." 2 Cor. 
5 : 17. When the heart does not love Christ, 
it is restless and dark, and this makes all 
things seem dark and unsatisfying. But when 
the heart is changed, we look, as it were, with 
different eyes upon every thing. The new 
light God has wrought in us shines upon and 
beautifies all around us. 



64* MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

Everywhere the light and shade • 
By the gazer's eye is made ; 
In ourselves the sunshine dwells, 
From ourselves the music swells. 

This is the first distinct confession which 
Lottie gave, either in her journal or in her 
letters, that she believed herself to be a Chris- 
tian. But we cannot doubt that some time 
before writing this she had truly loved the 
Saviour, though she "hardly dared to say 
so." We shall find that her hope was not 
yet strong, % 



CHANGED FEELINGS. 65 



21. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Friday Night, Dec. 10, 1857. — I feel very 
badly to-night; I am afraid I have wandered 
from God again. Oil dear, it seems as if it 
was no use for me to try to be a Christian 
any more. I have done so two or three times 
before. 

"I FEEL VERY BADLY TO-NIGHT." 

This was not strange : it is no uncommon 
thing for a Christian to feel very badly for a 
time. I think David felt very badly when he 
wrote the forty-second psalm. Job felt badly 
when he said, " To-day is my complaint bit- 
ter : my stroke is heavier than my groaning. 
Oh that I knew where I might find Him ! 
that I might come even to his seat !" Job 
23 : 2, 3. The young Christian is apt to have 
more or less of such feelings. The first 
brightness and joyousness are often soon fol- 
lowed by gloom. But this gloom may be very 
useful, and even while it lasts there may be 
much growth in grace. 

Mem. of Lottie. 5 



66 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

You have looked upon the orchards in the 
spring-time, when all the dark rough branch- 
es .were hidden with the profusion of bright 
and beautiful blossoms ; but in a few days 
all this glory faded and fell, so that again you 
cou'd see only the black and rough branches, 
which looked the more ugly and unpromising 
because they had just lost such brilliant blos- 
soms. Yet you knew the fruit was growing, 
though it made no show like the flowers. It 
is so with the Christian life. The first feel- 
ings of joy and hope are the blossoms : the 
trust in God and the purpose to serve him 
are the fruit. And when these blossoms of 
the heart fall, we may see all the more dis- 
tinctly that within our hearts which is dark 
and unsightly. Still the fruit is there and is 
growing: our trust in God and our spirit of 
obedience remain and increase. 



CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP. 6? 



22. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



Monday, Jan. 4, 1858. 

Yesterday B said that two of Mrs. 

S 's children were going to join the 

church next Sabbath. To-day I asked G 

if her sister was not one of them. She said, 
" Yes." Then I asked her who the other was. 
She did not like to say at first, but she told 
me after a while that it was she. She is a 
real nice girl. I love her more now than I 
ever did before. I wish I was a Christian. 
I have resolved over and over again to serve 
God, and asked him to help me, but I would 
wander from him again. It really seems as 
if it was no use to try any more to be a Chris- 
tian. Oh how I do wish I could see Mr. 

H or S , and ask them what to do. 

I can't talk to M or J ; I can't tell 

them my feelings as I can S or Mrs. 

H . I wish I knew Mr. H better, 

and that he knew me better. We shall know 
each other when we get to heaven, any way, 



68 MEMOKIES OF LOTTIE. 

if I can only get there. I am almost afraid 
I never shall. No ; I wont say that. I will 
be a Christian. O my Father, help me. 

"I WISH I WAS A CHEISTIAN." 

How easy it is to say that, and how many 
say it without really meaning it. I think 
that Lottie was a Christian, but she was not 
such a Christian as she desired to be. But 
what was it that she was wishing ? Perhaps 
she wanted to have her heart seem better to 
her. But the more holy a Christian becomes, 
the more does he see and feel his own guilt 
and unworthiness, and the more does he dis- 
trust and hate his own heart. Perhaps Lot- 
tie was desiring some such evidence of her 
piety as she could not reasonably expect — 
some evidence that would relieve her entirely 
of doubts and fears. If such evidence had 
been given her, it might have been an injury 
to her. It might have made her confident 
and careless, secure and proud, when it was 
necessary that she should be doubtful and 
watchful, fearful and humble. But I think 
we shall find the secret of her trouble pres- 
ently. 



GOOD RESOLUTIONS. 69 
"I HAVE RESOLVED OVER AND OVER AGAIN. " 

Here it is; this is the secret of her trouble. 
She had trusted too much in her own resolu- 
tions. Oh how common a mistake this is. 
How many try to make a good resolution 
their saviour, as if it could serve them in- 
stead of Christ. "When young people try to 
become Christians, they generally begin with 
this mistake. They try to make themselves 
better. They form good resolutions, and then 
trust in them instead of trusting in Jesus 
Christ. The Bible does not tell us to believe 
in our strength or in our resolutions, but, 
" Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou 
shalt be saved." Young Christians often 
have trouble with their good resolutions. 
They have too much self-confidence, and 
God would cure them of it ; so he lets them 
discover how weak their resolutions are. He 
lets them suffer something of darkness and 
discouragement as the consequence of their 
self-dependence, that so they may learn to 
depend only on Him. 



70 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

"IT SEEMS AS IF IT WAS OF NO USE TO 
TRY." 

It is of no use to try as many do. To try 
to make one's self better; to try to save one's 
self ; to try to be a saint without being will- 
ing to strive and pray and wait for it ; to try 
to learn a book without studying it one page 
at a time — this is of no use. There is a great 
deal of trying which is in vain. Trust and 
love Christ, instead of trying to make your- 
self a Christian. Leave your salvation with 
him, and try, not to save yourself, but to 
serve Him. Lottie has this gem in her scrap- 
book: 

EXCELLENCY OF CHRIST. 

He is a path, if any be misled ; 

He is a robe, if any naked be ; 
If any chance to hunger, he is bread ; 

If any be a bondman, he is free ; 

If any be but weak, how strong is he ! 
To dead men life he is, to sick men health ; 
To blind men sight, and to the needy wealth ; 
A pleasure without loss, a treasure without stealth. 

"HOW I DO WISH I COULD SEE MR. H ." 

Lottie did not need to see Mr. H nor 

Sarah, but only Jesus Christ. When young 



GO STEAIGHT TO CHRIST. 71 

Christians are in doubt or trouble, they are 
very apt at first to look everywhere but to 
the right place for relief. They look into 
their own hearts, and when discouraged there 
they think of their pastor or of some Christian 
friend, as did Lottie ; but how much better 
to go straight to Jesus. Your pastor will be 
glad to see you, and will be kind to you; but 
Jesus will be gladder and kinder if you will 
go directly to him. 

There is no majesty in Him 
Which love may not come near. 

The light of love is round his feet, 
His paths are never dim ; 
And he comes near to us when we 
Dare not come nigh to him. 

Let us be simple with him then, 
Not backward, stiff, nor cold, 
As though our Bethlehem could be 
What Sinai was of old. 



12 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

23. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



Friday Evening, Feb. 19, 1858. 

My darling Sister Sarah : J is writ- 
ing to yon, and I thought I wonld write you 
a few lines. Oh, Sarah, I do want to see you 
so much. I feel just like having a nice quiet 
talk with you — we have not had one in so 
long. "When I wrote to you last, I said that 
I had not told any one that I thought I was 
a Christian. I have since told mother and 

father. Mr. B asked me one night, so I 

had to tell him ; but I did not wish to. Mrs. 

H found it out somehow, and spoke to 

me one night when we were coming out of 
meeting. She spoke so sweetly. She and 

Mr. H are so lovely. I sometimes feel 

afraid that I love them too much ; but now I 
think that I love Jesus better. 

It is a sad trial to you, dear Sarah, to lose 
Tommy, but he is much better off than he 
would be here. There is something more to 
make heaven dear to you. Another little 
brother is an angel now. Mother, Maria, 
Henry, and Tommy, are holy names to you. 
I have only lost one, and that one when I 



BRIGHTENING HOPES. ?3 

was not old enough, to feel it. 1 am not 
thankful enough, not near thankful enough 
for my blessings. I hope Tommy's death 
may do me good, as well as the rest of you. 
I wish that it might make me more thankful 
that I am not so bereaved. I deserve it 
more than you do. Good-night, darling. 
Accept this short note from your affectionate 
sister LOTTIE. 

Mother just said that Mr. H 's three 

daughters are going to join the church the 
next Sabbath that we have communion. I 
want to, but I am afraid that father and 
mother will think it too soon. By the next 
communion season it will be about three 
months since I have been happy in thinking 
that I was a Christian. 

"I THOUGHT I WAS A CHRISTIAN.'' 

We have come now to a new period in the 
life of Lottie. The question of her love to 
Christ, which had so long and so deeply trou- 
bled her spirit, is comparatively settled. She 
had had a long period of doubt and fear, and 
through all its darkness there had occasion- 
ally glanced and glimmered some starlight 



14 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

beams of hope ; but now slie has passed safe 
through the twilight days, and it is morning : 
the Sun of righteousness has arisen in His 
fulness upon her young life, and the soft 
dews of heavenly joy glisten fresh and beau- 
tiful all along her path. 

Her dear Sarah had often comforted her. 
Now Sarah has lost her infant brother, and it 
is Lottie's turn to comfort Sarah. 

"FATHER AND MOTHER WILL THINK IT TOO 
SOON." 

"I want to, but I am afraid father and 
mother will think it too soon." "Why did not 
Lottie speak to them at once about it? I 
think she might have spoken to them. But 
some will ask, " "Why did not Lottie's par- 
ents speak to her about it ? they were Chris- 
tians, and they knew that she thought her- 
self a Christian ; why then did they not ask 
her if she wanted to unite with the church ?" 
Lottie's father and mother probably judged 
that it would be better for Lottie's mind to 
be left alone for a time to work upon that 
subject; and better for her to make the effort 
to speak first to them concerning it. They 
were probably wise and kind in this. 



THE NEW PATH. 75 



24. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO A LITTLE 
CLASS-MATE. 



Home, Tuesday Evening, March 3, 185.8. 

Deae Minnie — I am very glad to hear that 
you think you are a Christian. I had thought 
so, for some time before I told any one, of 
myself. I mean I had thought I was a Chris- 
tian. I did not know that you thought you 
were till this afternoon. I knew you were 
serious, and I have prayed for you very often. 
Let us be free, and tell each other our feel- 
ings without restraint. 

I don't see S "W very often, and I 

have not any one here in Brooklyn that I 
can talk to, and tell all my feelings. "We 
have never been as free with each other as I 

wish we had. Do n't you love Miss N * 

dearly? I do love her dearly. I hope we 
shall be a help to each other, now that we 
have both entered upon a new path in life. 
From your affectionate friend, 

LOTTIE. 

* Their Sabbath-school teacher. 



16 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

{£ A NEW PATH IN LIFE." 

It was a "new" path. Its direction was 
different from that in which they once walked. 
They were under new guidance. Jesus was 
their shepherd : they had listened to his voice, 
and were following him. The old path was 
easy, for it led downward ; the new one was 
difficult, because it led upward. But the 
old was fuller of perils than the new one was 
of difficulties. The old path would have end- 
ed in hell, and the new one ends in heaven. 
To walk a safe path is better than to walk 
one that is only easy. 



FRIENDLY URGENCY. IT 



25. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO A CLASS-MATE 
IN THE PACKER INSTITUTE. 



March 5, 1858. 

Dear Mary — I wish I could see you to- 
night instead of writing to you ; but as that 
is out of the question, I will write. To-day 
you thought I would think it impolite in you 
to ask that question you wrote on a piece 
of paper in the chapel. I did not, but was 
very glad to have you ask me. 

I wish you would give your heart to the 
Saviour, Mary; you will be so much happier. 
Think of what he has done for you and me 
and every one ; and what he requires of us 
is nothing to what he has done for us. He 
died on the cross, endured reproach and con- 
tempt, did every thing, that sinners who cru- 
cified him and took his precious blood might 
live. What love ! "Who else would do it for 
us ? All we have to do to inherit eternal life 
is to love and serve the Saviour. Do give 
your heart to him. Tou do not know that 
you will live another day or an hour. But if 



78 MEMOKIES OF LOTTIE. 

yon love the Saviour, nothing can harm yon. 
Good-night, dear Mary. Think of what I 
have said. 

From your loving friend, 

LOTTIE. 

<C I WISH YOU WOULD GIVE YOUK HEART TO 
THE SAVIOUR." 

"When Lottie had really begun to hope in 
Christ, her heart seemed to be fall of desire 
for the conversion of her young friends. She 
wTote them little notes ; she sent them books ; 
she talked with them, and prayed for them. 

How much good may be accomplished by 
such a letter as this, written in dependence 
upon God, and accompanied with prayer. 
The child to whom it was addressed found 
hope in Christ ; and so the two friends were 
bound more closely together than ever before. 



DO NOT SAY "IF." ?9 



26. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO A CLASS-MATE. 



Friday Evening, March 12, 1858. 

Dear Mary — I have just come from prayer- 
meeting. It was such a blessed one. Mr. 

H has got back. After meeting was out, 

everybody began to flock around him to 
speak to him. Mother and I had a nice long 
talk with him. He is so good. 

Saturday Evening. — I have been to a Un- 
ion prayer-meeting in the Pierrepont-street 
Baptist church this afternoon. It was just as 
full as it could hold. Every seat was taken, 
and they brought in benches ; and after that 
a great many were obliged to stand up. Mr. 

H was there. He prayed. Oh, Mary, 

I wish you had been there, and at meeting 

last night. I wish you could hear Mr. H 

some time. His sermons are beautiful. I 
said in one of my notes I knew you would be 
a Christian, and that you must not say "if." 
I said so, for I believed it ; and I believe it 
now. I know it. "And it shall come to pass, 



80 MEMOEIES OF LOTTIE. 

that before they call, I will answer ; and while 
they are yet speaking, I will hear." Isa. 
65 : 24. 

I should like to know your cousin S. T- . 

How old is she ? I enclose a little book, part 
of which I should like to have you read. It 
has been a great help to me. If you look in 
the index, you will find the parts marked I 
wish you to read. Please return it as soon 
as you have finished it. 

Your affectionate friend, 

LOTTIE. 

c 'YOU MUST NOT SAY <IF." 

That was good advice. It will not do to 
say "if" to God. He will not permit us to 
make conditions with him. We must come 
to him without any of those " ifs " which our 
plans, or our prejudices, or our tastes might 
suggest. " If Thou wilt suffer me first to in- 
dulge in pleasure a little while, then I will 
love and serve thee." Tour soul is of too 
much consequence to be balanced on an "if" 
He would have you heartily say, "Iivill arise 
and go to my .Father ;" and he will meet you, 
even while yet a great way off. 



SISTERS IN CHRIST. 81 



27. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO A CLASS-MATE. 



Darling Mary — I do love you so uracil. I 
love you a great deal more than I did before 
yon were converted. 'Tis so pleasant to 
think that we are sisters, and Jesus our Elder 
Brother. Our dear heavenly Father has been 
very kind to us. He is now giving us our 
first great trial, to see if we will be patient 
and bear it, feeling that it cometh from him 
and is all for the best. 

Affectionately, 

LOTTIE. 

SISTERS IN CHRIST. 

Lottie had reason to hope that her prayers 
and efforts had been blessed to the conver- 
sion of her friend. This filled her heart with 
joy and with love. It often appears in her 
letters and journal, that Lottie's heart was 
peculiarly tender towards all of her friends 
who loved the Saviour. She clung to them. 
She wrote often to them. She felt that they 

Mem. of Lottie. 6 



82 MEMOEIES OF LOTTIE. 

were her sisters, and she delighted to call 
them so. If we love God, we rejoice when a 
soul turns to him. We have a family feeling 
towards the children of God our Father. 
This is the beautiful idea of the church — it 
is one family in Christ Jesus. 



MANY CONVERSIONS. 83 



28. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL, IN THE 
REVIVAL OP 1858. 



Wednesday, March 17, 1858. — I never heard 
of such a time as there is now. Everybody 

is getting converted. To-day S. S told 

me she was, last night. She has been so good 
all day long, that I should not know what to 
make of it, if I did not know that. There are 
several girls in our room who have been con- 
verted lately: L. I , J. F , M. B , 

G. B , H. H , and S. S ; I my- 
self making the seventh. Several others are 
serious. We are going to have a prayer- 
meeting to-morrow morning. I think it will 

be very pleasant. L. M will lead. This 

afternoon I walked home with Miss B . 

I have just come from meeting. Mr. H 



lectured. The text was Gen. 6:3: "My 
Spirit shall not always strive with man." 

Thursday, 18. — I went to our little meet- 
ing at school this morning. There were 
twenty-four present. Yesterday there were 



84 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

only ten. M. S led tlie meeting. Miss 

S , Miss C , F. A— , and A. W ,' 

prayed. It was a great effort for them to do 

it: — all but Miss S . She seemed to do it 

very easily. F. A is a very sweet girl. 

This afternoon I went to the prayer-meeting 
in the Baptist church. 

"IT WAS A GREAT EFFORT FOR THEM." 

Such prayer-meetings for young ladies are 
often very useful, and this is true in great 
measure because "it is a great effort for 
them." "What costs us great effort is of high 
value. The muscles of your arm cannot be 
strengthened without exertion. When you 
task those muscles you develop and strength- 
en them. So is it with Christian character. Its 
graces are increased by that which costs effort. 
It is easy for a little girl to say, " I cannot 
take part in such a meeting ;" but that is not 
true. "I can do all things through Christ 
which strengthened me," is the proper lan- 
guage for the Christian. Lottie says, " Miss 

S seemed to do it very easily." It is far 

less difficult for some than for others to take 
part in a prayer-meeting. But really the 



HELP ONE ANOTHEK. 85 

discharge of this duty is of the most service, 
not to those for whom it is easiest, but to 
those for whom it is hardest. "Will you re- 
member this when you find yourself disposed 
to make excuses, or to turn aside from the 
path of duty because it seems difficult and 
painful. 

The next letter shows how Lottie was 
drawn towards those who loved Christ, and 
how frankly and freely she opened her heart 
to them. In so doing, she aided and strength- 
ened both herself and them. Young Chris- 
tians would do well to imitate her example 
in this. They are too apt to hide their 
thoughts and feelings from one another. The 
Father loves to have his dear children help 
one another. 



86 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



29. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO A YOUNG 
CONVERT. 



Home, Satukday Evening, April 3, 1858. 

My dear Minnie — I feel like thinking 
about Christ to-night ; and as we cannot talk 
about him, I thought I would write. 

I have not told you about my feelings as I 
wish to. Before I hoped that I was a Chris- 
tian, I had been thinking about it a great 
while. Last December, the Thursday before 
communion was appointed as a day for fast- 
ing and prayer.. In the evening, I went to 
meeting. Coming out, I happened to be the 

last except Mr. H . "We walked along 

together. He put his arm around me, and 
talked to me about giving my heart to Christ ; 
said that he had been talking to his little 
folks to-day : " I want them to begin now ; 
I want you to begin, and help them along." 
I answered, " Yes." I was very unhappy for 
a good while. I could find no peace any- 
v/here. About the middle of January, I 
found peace in the Saviour. I did not tell 



THINKING OF CHRIST. 8T 

any one of it, till about three weeks after- 
wards. I was afraid I might have been de- 
ceived, and I wanted to wait a little while 
and see. It is now five minutes of nine 
o'clock, and with a great deal of love, I must 
bid my Minnie good-night. 

Affectionately, 

LOTTIE. 

"THINKING ABOUT CHRIST." 

Lottie began this letter by saying, " I feel 
like thinking about Christ to-night." She 
could not do better. "We think too much 
about ourselves, about our friends, about the 
world, and not enough about Christ. Think 
about your sins chiefly, and you will be dis- 
couraged and hopeless. Think about your 
Saviour chiefly, and you will not only be 
comforted in hope, but your desire to be 
like him will be more and more increased. 
" Looking unto Jesus," is a beautiful motto 
for the Christian. 

We would see Jesus, the great rock foundation, 
Whereon our feet were set by sovereign grace ; 

Not life nor death, with all their agitation, 
Can thence remove us if we see his face. 

We would see Jesus, this is all we 're needing ; 

Strength, joy, and willingness come with the sight. 



88 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



30. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO L- 



April 18, 1858. 

Dear L Do yon still think that you 

are a Christian? and have you told your 
mother ? I would, if I were you. I wish I 
could see you, so that we could have a nice 
long talk together. Tou remember in one 

of my letters, I told you that M. R , and 

Mrs. W 's niece, who lives on the next 

block and is in our class in Sabbath-school, 
arose to be prayed for in a meeting in the 
Baptist church. She is hoping she is a 
Christian. There are about half of the girls 

in our room at school converted. A. H 

hopes that she has given her heart to Christ. 

.... I went to see Mr. H about three 

weeks ago. He talks so beautifully. I sup- 
pose you have heard that he is going to 
D . I wish he was not going. 

From your affectionate friend and sister, 

LOTTIE. 



CONFESSING CHEIST. 89 

"HAVE YOU TOLD YOUR MOTHER?" 

You remember that Lottie hesitated for 
some time about telling her mother that she 
had a hope in Christ. When, however, she 
overcame this hesitation and spoke to her 
mother, she regretted not having done so 
sooner. Hence her earnestness in urging 

L to open her heart to her mother. 

Lottie's advice to L is good for every 

child in like circumstances. 



90 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



31. FROM LOTTIE'S JOURNAL. 



Sabbath Evening, April 25, 1858. — We 
have had our last words from dear Mr. H — — . 
Oh it seems as if I could not have him go 
away. It is my first great trial. He led the 
meeting. Oh how can I be separated from 
him ! Jesus, give me strength to bear it. 

Coming out of meeting, J and I met Mr. 

H . He went outside of the door with 

me, and gave a few words of counsel. They 
are the last ; yes, the last we shall ever heal 
from his lips, most likely. God bless him, 
and grant that we may meet him in heaven. 

"I COULD NOT HAVE HIM GO AWAY." 

Lottie was about to lose her beloved pas- 
tor. We have seen all along, both in her 
journal and in her letters, that she loved him 
very dearly. She clung. to him for counsel, 
and treasured very carefully his words, keep- 
ing notes of his sermons in a book which she 
procured for the purpose. She had reason 



A GKEAT TEIAL. 91 

to love her pastor, for lie had been faithful 
to her, and he was every way worthy of her 
love. Would that each little girl might come 
nearer to her pastor's heart. Do not be 
afraid of him; he loves you, and will wel- 
come your confidence, and strive to do you 
good. The removal of her pastor from her 
was, she says, her "first great trial." I do not 
know how it was in her case, but there are 
those who expect too much of their minister, 
and lean upon him too much. I would urge 
you to love him whom God has appointed 
your spiritual teacher, but at the same time 
to remember that Jesus Christ will bear with 
you, and sympathize with you and aid you 
as no pastor can. 



92 MEMOKIES OF LOTTIE. 



32. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO MINNIE. 



Dear Minnie — I have not written to you 
for a long time, and I take this opportunity 

to answer your letter. I was at Mrs. H 's 

yesterday. I am now going to tell you the 
best news of all. A few days ago I wrote to 

A E . I spoke about my hope that I 

was a Christian, and asked her if she thought 
she was. I got a beautiful letter from her 
last night. She says that she has been hop- 
ing she was for some time. I was so glad. 
They have a little girls' prayer-meeting every 
Friday afternoon. She says she wishes I 
could be at them, they are so pleasant. I 
think I will go with you to prayer-meeting 
on Saturday. I will go as often as I can. I 
love to go, but can't very often. I must come 
to see you again soon and have another nice 
talk, like the one we had yesterday, or day 
before, rather. I must now bid you good-by. 

I am your ever affectionate friend, 

LOTTIE. 



HOW TO DO GOOD. 93 

"CAN'T YOU WRITE A LETTER?" 

I do not know who A K was, but 

I am sure the letter referred to must have 
done her good. You see how often Lottie 
wrote such letters to her friends, urging upon 
them the one great interest of religion. Per- 
haps you think you cannot speak to your 
friend ; but can you not write a letter urging 
that friend to come to Christ? You do not 
know how much good such a letter would do. 
It might turn the balanced scale, and be the 
occasion of joy and gratitude to all eternity. 
Suppose you try the experiment. Pray about 
it. "Write your letter to your friend, and ask 
God to bless it. 

Scorn not the slightest word or deed, 

Nor deem it void of power ; 
There 's fruit in each wind-wafted seed, 

Waiting its natal hour. 

A whispered word may touch the heart, 

And call it back to life ; 
A look of love bid sin depart, 

And still unholy strife. 

No act falls fruitless ; none can tell 

How vast its power may be ; 
Nor what results infolded dwell 

Within it silently. 



94 MEMOEIES OF LOTTIE. 



33. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO MINNIE. 



Dear Minnie — A little occurrence just now 
made me look back to the time when I first 
thought I was a Christian ; and I must write 
a few words, if no more, to you about it. We 
are reviewing in arithmetic. I opened my 
book to see where the lesson was, and it is 
in the same place that it was at that time 
last winter. It took me right back, and I 
was thinking how much happier I was then 
than I am now. Are you not so ? Does it 
not seem as if you felt happier then ? Dear 
Minnie, it makes me feel very badly. It 
makes me think of our dear pastor, or late 
pastor rather, and how I felt the first com- 
munion Sabbath after I had been "born 
again." Oh, how different then from now! 
That very Sabbath evening, after prayer- 
meeting was over, dear Mrs. H spoke to 

me so sweetly about my new hope. And then 
when I was going to bed, I heard father say 



SEEKING HAPPINESS. 95 

that Mr. H had officiated at his last com- 
munion season in our church. Oh, I can't 
talk about it. You can imagine my feelings 
better than I can describe them. Will you 
not pray for me to-night, Minnie, and always 
pray for me? But now, Oh that Jesus would 
make me happy again, and more so than I 
was before, and make me better. 
I am, as ever, your affectionate 

LOTTIE. 

"OH TO BE HAPPY AGAIN!" 

Something occurred to cause Lottie to look 
back at the past, and to contrast it with the 
present. She longed for the happiness she 
had once experienced. Many young Chris- 
tians make a mistake of this kind. They 
desire and seek the repetition and continu- 
ance of past experiences, when they should 
be acting upon Paul's motto : " Forgetting 
those things which are behind, and reaching 
forth unto those things which are before, I 
press toward the mark for the prize of the 
high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Very 
often have I found young Christians and old 
seeking certain^ experiences — seeking after 



96 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

happiness or hope, when they should have 
been seeking Jesus Christ. If they would 
know and serve him more perfectly, all other 
needed things would be added unto them. 
Happiness was not Lottie's real need, but 
rather Christ. 



LOSS OF HER PASTOR. 97 



34. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO HER LATE 
PASTOR. 



Saturday, May 22, 1858. 

My dear Mr. H As you are not 

where I can see you, I must talk to you in 
some way, and therefore hope you will ex- 
cuse me for writing to you. One day when 
I went to see you in your study, you asked 
me if I had " had any trials yet." What I 
had before then were nothing to the great 
one experienced since. At first I could not 
see why those whom I loved next to my own 
family should be taken away from me. Per- 
haps one reason was because I was not thank- 
ful enough for the blessing of such a pastor, 
for it was very seldom I thanked God for it. 
I never had such a trial before. A sister of 
mine died once ; but that was nine years ago 
the first of March. I was not quite four then, 
and of course was too young to feel it. 

I can never thank you enough, dear Mr. 

H , for all you have done for me. One 

evening coming out of meeting, you spoke to 

Mem. of Lottie. 7 



98 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

me, and asked me if I would not " try to be 
a Christian." I promised to do so. I could 
find no peace anywhere for a long time ; and 
one Sabbath you preached from the text, 
"Follow me." I tried to follow Jesus, and 
he helped me. The night when you spoke to 
me you said, " The Lord will help you;" and 
he did indeed. 

That text is to me the most precious in the 
whole Bible. It is very hard to do right; and 
I want some one to go to, as I should to you 
if I could, to guide and lead me. I cannot 
go by myself. "When I am in trouble I go to 
the Bible. I never know in what part of it 
to look. I would like to have you tell me 
some places, if you please. If you have time, 
I would like very much to receive an answer 
to this note. Please do write to me if you 

can. Love to Mrs. H , A , and F , 

and accepting a great deal for yourself, be- 
lieve me, 

Your little friend 

LOTTIE. 

<<THE MOST PRECIOUS TEXT IN THE BIBLE." 

" Follow Me ;" these are indeed simple 
and beautiful words. I do not wonder that 



"FOLLOW ME." 99 

Lottie loved them so. Christ is a true Lead- 
er. He does not say, "Go," but, "Follow 
me." He himself has trod the path in which 
he invites us to walk. He has struggled with 
temptation; he has endured the 'scoffs and 
insults of men ; he has suffered ; he has died. 
And now to us, exposed to temptation and 
trial and suffering and death, he says, " Fol- 
low me." To follow Christ is to trust and 
obey him. It is to give up guiding ourselves 
or following our own will, that we may listen 
to his voice as it speaks to us in the Gospel. 
To follow Christ is to pursue that path which 
leads directly to heaven, that we may be with 
him where he is. These two words, "Follow 
me," comprehend the whole duty and privi- 
lege of the Christian life. They mean far 
more than you would at first suppose. How- 
ever rapidly you may press forward in this 
heavenly path, you will ever see Jesus before 
and beyond you, inviting you still onward 
and upward with his one simple message, 
" Follow me." 

Earlier in her history, perhaps Lottie 
would have said that this other text is the 
most precious in the whole Bible : " Come 



100 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

unto me." But now that she has heard and 
obeyed the first message, her soul is full of 
the second. I find in her scrap-book these 
lines upon her favorite text. 

"FOLLOW ME." 
A voice is ringing sweet and clear, 
Gentle and low upon my ear ; 
The form or face I cannot see, 
The words I hear are, " Follow me." 
Oh, follow Him, and cease to stray 
In sin's delusive, dangerous way ; 
No burdens need you bear, for He 
Says, " Cast your burdens upon me." 
But hold, the cross is mine to bear. 
Yes, if thou would'st the glory share. 
Hear Him: "If thou would'st worthy be, 
Take up thy cross and follow me." 
Then take thy cross, where'er it lie, 
The strength you need He will supply ; 
The paths alone his feet have trod 
Will lead you to the throne of God. 

TOEEE TO LOOK IN THE BIBLE. 

"When Lottie was in trouble or felt the need 
of guidance, she went to the Bible. This was 
right. But the Bible is a large book, and 
some portions of it are better for to-day's 
wants than other portions. To-morrow per- 
haps some different passages will be more 



READING THE BIBLE. 101 

appropriate. Familiarity with the Bible will 
show that all of it is far richer and more pre- 
cious than we at first supposed. Read it 
every day regularly, and you will in time be- 
come so familiar with it that you will know 
where to look for what you need. For want 
of such familiarity with the Bible, many 
Christians suffer much. There are three 
ways of reading which all should practise. 

Bead in regular course, for the sake of be- 
coming acquainted with the whole Bible. 

Bead some portion very carefully and stu- 
diously, seeking help, if needed, from some 
commentary, or from some friend. 

Bead a very few verses devotionally, or 
simply to enjoy and profit by them, and to 
think of them during the day. Tou will 
know better and better where to select these 
last, the longer you practise the first two 
methods of reading. 

The next letter is truly a most touching and 
remarkable one for a young girl but thirteen 
years old. She little dreamed when she wrote 
it how near she was to the happiness of which 
she speaks. 



102 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



35. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO L- 



Tuesday, June 2, 1858. 

My bear Sister L 1 am very much 

obliged to you for that nice long letter. That 
is just the kind I like. I forgot to tell you 
last Saturday that mother got a letter from 

Mrs. B, a short time ago, in which she 

said that A was not well. Dear A , 

if God in his providence should be pleased 
to take her away, I trust she is prepared for 
it. I received a sweet letter from her a little 
more than a month ago. You said in your 
letter that your father thought it was wrong 
for persons who loved God and hated sin to 
think they were not Christians. But some- 
times I act so wickedly and feel so wickedly, 
it seems as if I did not love God, or hate sin 
enough. Oh, our hearts are so wicked and 
deceitful. Nobody in the world thinks I am 
as bad as I am. Even I myself do not know 
my heart as God does; and think how vile I, 
and every one who is just the same, must 
seem to Him who could not sin. "Wonderful 



TREASURES ABOVE. 103 

love and mercy, that would induce one to die 
for us. When I think of all my own sinful- 
ness, of the inward depravity of my soul, it 
seems impossible for any one to love me ; and 
that One in whose sight I am more wicked 
than in my own should do it, nothing can 
surpass it. I wonder how I could ever have 
grieved him or hated him as I have ; for the 
Bible says that those who do not love Jesus, 
hate him. 

You asked me to read the sixth chapter of 
St. John. I have done so. It was indeed a 
wonderful miracle. The whole of the chap- 
ter is very interesting. Two texts from which 
Mr. H has preached are in it. The twen- 
ty-ninth verse and the last part of the thirty- 
seventh, which says, " Him that cometh unto 
me I will in no wise cast out." Are they not 
precious words ? 

On Sunday mother asked me if you thought 
you were a Christian. You of course know 
w x hat I told her. You spoke of our treasures 
in heaven. First, an eternal life ; then think 

of seeing dear little N , T , H , 

M , and your mother, and think of being 

there for ever with them and Jesus and all 



104 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

the bright angels, with your uncle T , 

and our parents, and our brothers and sis- 
ters, and dear Mr. and Mrs. H , and our 

dear little friends. Will we not be happy, 
L ? 

From your affectionate sister 

LOTTIE. 

A SINFUL HEAET. 

Lottie felt her sins more and more deeply 
as she grew older. Sometimes this discour- 
aged her, but without reason. The nearer 
one comes to Jesus the " Light of the world," 
the more clearly will she discover the deep 
and dark chambers of her own soul. As one 
advances in holiness, the sense of sin deep- 
ens ; this is the universal law. The eye of 
the soul, conscience, becomes clearer, sharp- 
er, and more discriminating; so that it dis- 
cerns sin where it had seen nothing before, 
as the microscope reveals life within what 
had seemed to be only a drop of water. 

This deepening sense of guilt was, in the 
case of Lottie, convincing evidence that she 
was really a child of God, and that the divine 
Spirit was working in her young heart to 
cleanse and sanctify her. 



SABBATH DUTIES. 105 



36. FROM LOTTIES JOURNAL. 



Sabbath, June 27, 1858. — I have not writ- 
ten in my journal for a long time. I am 
going to try now to find time to write in it 
oftener. Tlie other day father got a letter 

from Mrs. R . She says that A , the 

darling, expects to unite with the church next 
Sabbath, the first in July. I got a letter from 

A in April, saying that she hoped she 

was a Christian. This morning in Sunday- 
school we closed the lesson a little sooner 
than usual, as it is the last Sabbath we will 

have school until September. Mr. C 

gave in his resignation as superintendent last 

Sunday. Mr. J spoke first this morning. 

He said that he thought it would be a good 
plan for all of us, teachers and scholars, every 
Sunday morning at nine o'clock, to pray and 
read and sing, and engage in any other relig- 
ious services that we chose, just as we would 
if we were together in Sunday-school. Mr. 

C thought that it would be very pleasant 

for us to pray for each other at the same time. 



106 MEMOKIES OF LOTTIE. 

Then lie spoke of Christ as a sympathizing 
friend : " Sometimes when we are with inti- 
mate friends who are very dear to us, we love 
to sit down with them, and tell them our feel- 
ings and unburden our hearts to them, and 
we can feel that they sympathize with us. 
Just so, dear children, we should come to 
Christ ; and if we tell him our hearts, he will 
sympathize with us." 

Mr. E preached for us to-day. This 

morning his text was, " "Who is this Son of 
man?" He spoke of Christ as the Son of 
man ; this afternoon as the Son of God. The 
afternoon's text was, "I believe that Jesus 
Christ is the Son of God." 

Just at twilight I sat by the windows in 
mother's room. I love to look out there on 
Sunday evenings, and think and pray in my 
heart. It is so beautiful in the north-west 
these evenings. I had a sweet season with 
my Saviour. He gave me such sweet "peace." 
A little while ago I watched the moon. It 
was rising in its beautiful yellow glow. God 
has made this world beautiful indeed. I 
must close now, for I have written a very 
long journal, and must go to bed. 



AN HOUE WITH CHKIST. 107 

"A SWEET SEASON." 

It was not a season of self-examination ; it 
was not a season of meditation upon her sins : 
it was a "sweet season vnth her Saviour" 
Ah, it is in those blessed moments when the 
soul is alone, when " the doors are shut " 
against the world, that Jesus comes and 
breathes on us, as on the disciples of old, 
and says, "Peace be unto you." Thoughts 
of self and sin give place to thoughts of him 
who is the " Chief among ten thousand," the 
One "altogether lovely;" and these are 
thoughts of joy. This is joy " in the Lord ;" 
and it is the highest and holiest that we can 
know. On that calm Sabbath evening I won- 
der if Lottie thought of this hymn : 

Is there a time when moments flow 
More peacefully than all beside ? 

It is of all the times below, 

A Sabbath eve in summer's tide. 

If heaven be ever felt below, 

A scene so heavenly, sure, as this, 

May cause a heart on earth to know 
Some foretaste of celestial bliss. 

Here we leave Lottie's journal. She made 
no further entry in it. The description of 



108 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

that Sabbath, evening communion with her 
Saviour was a fitting conclusion. Her life 
was fast approaching its sweet, peaceful even- 
ing hour, when she would lay aside the pen 
for ever, to take the harp and sweep it in 
praise of Him whom her soul so dearly loved. 
The journal is ended ; but the young and 
saintly life has yet more messages for us in 
the few remaining letters, which have an in- 
creasing tenderness of interest as one after 
another brings us nearer to her sunset hour. 



"ONE BY ONE." 109 



37. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO L- 



Plymouth, Aug*. 4, 1858. 

My dear Sister L 1 am very sorry 

if you felt badly because I did not write 

you We will have been here tliree 

weeks next Friday. I have had a very pleas- 
ant visit thus far. How long is it since you 
went to Geneva ? There are about twenty 
boarders here now. ... I cannot now think 
of any thing else to write about, so I will 
copy a piece of poetry which I think is very 
good. It is this : 

"ONE BY ONE." 
One by one the sands are flowing, 

One by one the moments fall ; 
Some are coming, some are going — 

Do not strive to grasp them alL 

One by one thy duties wait thee ; 

Let thy whole strength go to each : 
Let no future dream elate thee ; 

Learn thou first what I can teach. 

One by one — bright gifts from heaven — 
Joys are sent thee here below ; 

Take them readily when given, 
Ready too to let them go. 



110 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

One by one thy griefs shall meet thee ; 

Do not fear an armed band : 
One will fade as others greet thee — 

Shadows passing through the land. 

Do not look at life's long sorrow ; 

See how small each moment's pain: 
God will help thee for to-morrow ; 

Every day begin again. 

Every hour that fleets so slowly 

Has its task to do or bear : 
Luminous the crown, and holy, 

If thou set each gem with care. 

Do not linger with regretting, 
Or for passion's hour despond ; 

Nor, the daily toil forgetting, 
Look too eagerly beyond. 

Hours are golden links — God's token 
Keaching heaven ; but one by one 

Take them, lest the chain be broken 
Ere the pilgrimage be done. 

From your affectionate sister, 

LOTTIE. 



There is an excellent lesson in these lines 
which Lottie copied for her friend. She 
thought them better than any thing she could 
write ; and I leave them to speak for them- 
selves. Are they not worth committing to 
memory ? 



. 



BEAUTIES OF NATUKE. Ill 



38. LOTTIE'S LETTER. 



Plymouth, Thursday, Aug. 5, 1858. 

Oh, Sarah, how I do wish you were here ; 
every thing is so bright and beautiful. For 
several days the weather has been cold and 
rainy ; but this morning, it is so different. 
The sky is all clear blue as far as I can see 
it, except on my left hand are a few fleecy 
white clouds. In front of me is a very large 
meadow, or orchard I suppose you would 
call it. Every spot is covered with grass, and 
there are very many trees in it. The little 
birds, dear little things, are so happy. They 
are singing just as hard as they can. They 
are as happy as I am. I do n't see how any 
one can help being happy on this lovely 
morning. Every thing is so bright, and they 
seem brighter because my heart is so bright. 
I do feel so happy I do n't know what to do. 

How kind our dear Father is to make this 
world so bright and beautiful. I do wish 
you were here with me. I want you to see 



112 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

and enjoy with me the beautiful things of 
nature. I expect father to-morrow or next 
day. Please write to me soon. 

Very affectionately, from your own sister, 

LOTTIE. 

"EVERY THING IS BRIGHT." 

Yes, if the heart be bright, it gilds and 
colors and illumines every thing. The soul 
that shines with tl>e light of God in it, sees 
by this radiance. It sees God's goodness 
and glory in every thing, and feels the thrill 
of grateful joy which nature is calculated to 
awaken. To the Christian the Sun has risen, 
the Sun of righteousness, and every thing 
seems to be aglow with the glorious gospel 
light. The night shadows have passed away, 
the morning has dawned, and all is bright 
and beautiful and vocal with praise. A sad 
heart covers every thing with the pall of its 
sadness, while a glad heart invests every thing 
with the glow of its gladness. Lottie was a 
warm admirer of the works of nature. She 
loved the landscape glittering with the gems 
of the morning dew, and she loved to look 
into the deep heavens at night when the stars 



STAR THOUGHTS. 113 

come out in their silent magnificence. In her 
journal, in her letters, and in her scrap-book 
I find abundant evidences of this. One who 
did not love God's works would not have 
selected this for a scrap-book : 

STAR THOUGHTS. 

How radiant the evening skies, 

Broad wing of blue in heaven unfurled, 

God watching with a thousand eyes 
The welfare of a sleeping world. 

He lights the wild-flower in the wood, 
And rocks the sparrow in her nest ; 

He guides the angel on its road, 

That comes to guard us while we rest. 

When the bee blows his tiny horn 

To wake the sisterhood of flowers, 
And light shall kindle up the morn, 
- Love shall expand these hearts of ours. 

God rolls the sun to its decline, 
And speeds it on to realms afar, 

To let the modest glow-worm shine, 
And man behold the evening star. 



Mem. of Lottie. 



114 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



39. LOTTIE'S SECOND LETTER TO HER 
LATE PASTOR. 



Plymouth, Aug. 8, 1858. 

My dear Mr. H It is Sabbath night. 

K. K — — and I have just been having a little 
prayer-meeting together. She goes home to- 
morrow morning. We have often talked to- 
gether of you since she has been here. And 
to-night, as it was the last time we were to 
be together until we met in Brooklyn, we 
thought it would be pleasant to read and 
sing and pray together. I think Jesus was 
with us. 

We prayed for you, and we have both of 
us done so very often since you left us. We 

love you very much, Mr. H , and would 

give a great deal to see you. K wanted 

me to tell you that she often prayed for you, 
and that she felt so badly because she did 
not have an opportunity to bid you " good- 
by." She said it would be such a comfort to 
her, if she only knew that you thought of her 



CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. 115 

sometimes, and prayed for her. She would 
be so glad if yon would write to her. Dear 

Mr. H , wont you please pray for us 

sometimes, and give us a little place in your 
heart ? Feel that we love you, and often pray 
for you. "Will you not please write a little 
note to Kittie ? It will make her so happy. 
Please answer my letter as soon as you can. 
I shall be so happy to h£ar from you. Love 
to all, from your most affectionate 

LOTTIE. 

P. S. Do you think I have written any 
thing here that I should not have written on 
the Sabbath? L. 



You see how full of love Lottie's young 
heart was. She clung to those who loved 
the Saviour. She delighted to write to them, 
to talk, or to pray with them. This was the 
overflowing of genuine Christian love. And 
then you will notice how conscientious she 
was, how anxious to do perfectly right. She 

asked Mr. H if she had written any thing 

that was improper for the Sabbath. I like 
this carefulness concerning the observance 



116 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

of God's holy day. The Sabbath often, in 
great measure, determines the week : if you 
misspend that day, you feel it all the week ; 
if on that day you begin aright, the impulse 
helps you all the other days of the week/ 

The following letter is the last that Lottie 

addressed to her friend Minnie R , to 

whom she had often written. It is indeed a 
beautiful letter. It savors of heaven, as if 
the dew of life's evening hour had already 
begun to fall upon her head, telling that the 
night of death and the morning of eternal 
blessedness were near. Her Father was 
steadily preparing her to come home to His 
heavenly mansions. 



PEACE IN BELIEVING. lit 



40. LOTTIE'S LETTER TO MINNIE. 



Home, Thursday, Aug. 19, 1858. 

My deaeest Minnie — I am very sorry in- 
deed that you are so ill. I wish I could go 
and see you. I hope you are well enough to 
read this for yourself; if you are not, please 
ask the person who reads this to you, to 
please allow you to finish it for yourself, 
when you get well enough to do so. I don't 
want anybody to see it. 

Minnie, I have felt so happy for the last 
few days. The reason is, because I have 
often communed secretly with Jesus. Oh, 
Minnie, I do love him so much more when I 
think of him often, and when I try hard to be 
like him and to please him. "When we were 
at Mrs. E 's, mother and I had a room to- 
gether, and it was so very seldom that I could 
find an opportunity to be alone, that I sel- 
dom thought of the dear Saviour who so 
often thinks of me. But now that we are at 
home, I can go alone whenever I please. 



118 MEMOBIES OF LOTTIE. 

And Minnie, dear, it is so sweet to be with. 
Jesus ; is it not ? I loye to think that eyery 
day brings us nearer than we ever were be- 
fore, to our "Father's house," where there 
are many mansions prepared for those who 
love him. What a happy meeting that will 
be. We shall live for ever with our dear par- 
ents, and with Mr. H and Miss N , 

and all our friends ; but best of all, with God 

the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost 

I do want to see Mr. and Mrs. H so 

much. It was a trial for us to part with 
them. But we can find comfort in every 
thing; each trial and trouble of this life will 
make heaven sweeter at the end. 

I am your loving 

LOTTIE. 

"I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MORE." 

At last Lottie had discovered the practical 
secret of the Christian life. " I do love him 
so much more when I think of him often, 
and when I try hard to be like him and to 
please him." If you would have your love for 
your Saviour increase, then remember Lot- 
tie's testimony. Think of your Saviour often ; 



NEARING HOME. 119 

" try hard to be like him, and to please him," 
and so will your love and hope steadily in- 
crease. 

"NEAKEK TO OUR FATHER'S HOUSE.' 5 

Little did Lottie think how prophetic and 
how touching the close of this letter would 
seem to her friends. She was indeed near to 
her Father's house ; within two short months 
she would be there ; and already her face 
seems to have caught something of the glow 
of that light which she was swiftly approach- 
ing. God prepares his children for going 
home to heaven ; so that very often, after their 
departure, we can see many things, unnoticed 
before, which seem to have declared very 
plainly, though then we understood them not, 
that our loved ones were " near their Father's 
house." 

One sweetly solemn thought 
Comes to me o'er and o'er: 
I 'm nearer my home to-day 
Than I 've ever been before ; 
Nearer my Father's house, 
Where the many mansions be ; 
Nearer the great white throne, 
Nearer the jasper sea : 



120 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. . 

Nearer the bound of life, 
Where we lay our burdens down ; 
Nearer leaving my cboss, 
Nearer wearing my crown. 
But lying darkly between, 
Winding down through the night, 
Is that dark and unknown stream 
Which leads at last to light. 

Father, perfect my trust, 
Strengthen my feeble faith ; 
Let me feel as though I stood 
On the bank of the river Death. 
For even now my feet 
May stand upon its brink ; 
I may be nearer my home, 
Nearer now than I think. 



THE LAST LETTEE. 121 



41. LOTTIE'S LAST LETTER. 



Sabbath, Oct. 3, 1858. 

My own darling Sister L 1 am re- 
joiced to know that you are to-day going to 
unite yourself with the people of God. 

I had intended to spend the Sabbath with 
you, but yesterday morning I was taken very 
sick at my stomach. I was so all day, some- 
times worse and sometimes better. I expect- 
ed to come to your house in the afternoon, 
and come back Monday morning. But it 
pleased God to deprive me of that pleasure. 

You know, dear L , how much I should 

have enjoyed being with you to-day. I am 
not going to church this morning. 

A little while ago father and I were sit- 
ting by the fire in the basement; no one 
else was there ; and he said he " should have 

been very glad to have me go and see L 

unite with the church to-day." He then ask- 
ed if I still continued to think that I was a 
Christian, and if I had had any desire to 



122 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

unite with the church. I replied that I had. 

He said that if Mr. H had remained with 

us, he should have spoken to me about it 
before ; but under the circumstances, he had 
not thought it best for me to join yet. 

Dear L , how gracious God has been 

to us ; has he not ? Do you remember when 
we used to talk about our feelings to each 
other, before either of us found peace in the 
Saviour ? I want to see you very much in- 
deed ; and if I am alive and well, and it is 
convenient for your mother and the rest of 
you, I shall hope to spend the next Sabbath 
with you, God permitting. Please write and 
let me know whether it will be convenient 
for me to come. 

I am, as ever, your most affectionate sister 

LOTTIE. 

THE LAST LETTER. 

This is the last of Lottie's writing so far as 
we know. You perceive that the hand of dis- 
ease was upon her when she wrote this final 
letter. Her friend, with whom she had often 
talked of Christ and heaven, and with whom 
she had often prayed, united with the church 



SUPPER OF THE LAMB. 123 

of Christ upon that Sabbath ; and Lottie's 
sympathetic heart was with her. Lottie did 
not here enjoy the privilege of publicly com- 
memorating the sufferings and death of her 
dear Saviour ; but how soon and how gladly 
she joined the ransomed spirits in the perfect 
and endless communion of heaven. 



124 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 



42. LOTTIE'S SICKNESS AND DEATH. 



We have followed tlie brief course of this 
dear young child of God thus far, gfrided 
solely by those mementos of her progress 
which we find in her own writings. Follow- 
ing her a few steps further, we see her, with 
her little hand clasping the hand of Jesus, 
going calmly down the bank of the river ; we 
catch a glimpse of the "shining shore;" we 
almost see the gates of pearl open to wel- 
come her, and close again to hide her for 
ever from earthly vision. 

Lottie's last sickness was very brief; the 
work of disease was completed in a single 
week. At first no danger was apprehended ; 
but after a few days the physicians informed 
her parents that her recovery was extremely 
improbable. This news was sudden and sad. 
Who among that sorrowing family could tell 
Lottie that eternity was so near ? It was her 
father's painful duty. With a heart over- 



"I WILL FEAR NO EVIL." 125 

whelmed he drew near to her bedside, not 
knowing how to break to Lottie the moment- 
ous intelligence. How could he tell his dar- 
ling child that she must die? How could 
she, so young, so feeble, bear such an an- 
nouncement ? But she must know how near 
she was to death. Her father began gently 
and tenderly to prepare her mind for the 
intelligence. At once she anticipated all. 
There was no sign of fear or of sorrow as she 
turned her calm sweet face towards her fa- 
ther, and said, "Read me the twenty-third 
psalm, father; read it to me while I am dy- 
ing." It was read, and seemed to be a balm 
to her spirit. Her father asked, "What shall 
I pray for, my dear daughter, in your be- 
half?" Her prompt reply was, "That I may 
be willing to live or die, just as Christ wants 
me to." Then it seemed as if a new light 
beamed from her countenance. Her whole 
mind and heart turned towards heaven, and 
she seemed to be watching and waiting for 
the dawn, longing for its light and glory. 
She suffered severe paroxysms of pain, but 
endured them with a serene and beautiful for- 
titude, only exclaiming more than once, " I 



126 MEMORIES OF LOTTIE. 

want to die and go to heaven right away." 
A friend whispered in her ear, " All the days 
of my appointed time will I wait, till my 
change come;" her only reply was a sweet 
smile of resignation. 

There were some little articles which she 
had treasured as her own, and these she di- 
vided between her mother and sister as keep- 
sakes, with words which were full of tender- 
ness. She had borrowed a few pennies of 
her cousin ; these she desired to have paid. 

As her father leaned over her and asked 
her for a parting word, she said, looking up- 
ward, " Meet me there." 

Her brother whispered tenderly to her, 
"Lottie, what will you give me?" After a 
moment's thought, she replied, "I can't think 
of any thing to give you. I '11 give you a 
verse to remember me by;" and then dis- 
tinctly repeated, " I am the resurrection and 
the life ; he that believeth in me, though he 
were dead, yet shall he live." And she added 
with touching sweetness, " I will ask God to 
let me be your guardian angel." 

To her weeping mother she said, "Mother, 
don't cry; it will be but a little while before 



TKUST IN CHBIST. 121 

you will come too. Nettie and I will be 
watching for you, and will be the first to 
meet yon. I may do many good things for 
you, mother, without your knowing any thing 
about it; for I shall ask God to let me be 
your ministering angel. I think I shall know 
Nettie."* 

On the morning of the day she died, she 
again asked to have the twenty-third psalm 
read to her. Then she said, "Sing ' Jesus, 
lover of my soul;' it's so sweet." Her friends 
attempted to comply with her request, but 
from the depth of their emotion their voices 
soon failed, and she said, " Read it to me." 

Turning a look of love upon her mother, 
she said, " I am so sorry that I ever did any 
thing to grieve you. Will you forgive me?" 
She remembered him who had been her pas- 
tor, and said, " Give my love to Mr. H , 

and tell him I can never thank him enough 
for what he has done for me." Her sister 
said, " You will see dear Nettie and Maryt 

* Nettie, her younger sister, died March 1, 1849, at 
the age of seven years. 

f Mary was a class-mate, and very dear friend of 
this sister. 



128 MEMOEIES OF LOTTIE. 

♦ 

in heaven." " Yes," she replied; " and Jesus, 
better than all." 

During the day she saw several of her 
school-mates, whom she greeted with great 
affection and pleasure. About half an hour 
before she died, after some moments of un- % 
consciousness, she opened her eyes upon her 
sister, and smiled such a sweet and heavenly 
smile, that almost involuntarily her sister 
asked, "Do you see Jesus, darling?" She 
could not speak, but her answer was an inar- 
ticulate sound and another smile, so unearth- 
ly that it seemed as if it must be that the 
glories of heaven were already dawning upon 
her soul. And so she fell asleep in Jesus. 
It was the fourteenth day of October, 1858, 
and Lottie was aged thirteen years and four 
months. 

Was that dying? Was it not rather en- 
tering upon the higher and holier life ? 

It is not death to die, 

And leave this weary road 
To join the brotherhood on high, 

And be at home with God. 

"He tha^1Ss|J?:.:AND believeth in me 

SHALL NEVES fi# ;", 




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